Thursday Small-Town Police Blotter Blogger Fodder.....

I almost didn't use the police blotter to create tonight's blog topic, because there wasn't nearly as much dysfunction in this week's paper as there had been the last two weeks.

I just couldn't let it go, though. Besides, it keeps me from having to come up with something on my own.

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HEADLINE: Counterfeit $100 bill features picture of Abraham Lincoln.

Come on, people. How much research would you really have to do for this one?

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A woman accused a man of beating her, but witnesses said the woman was drunk and fabricated the story.

Then why is this news?

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A woman said her neighbor's boyfriend followed her throughout town after she helped an investigator looking into the man's extramarital relationship.

Why does this remind me of Gladys Kravitz?

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A man took gravel from a pile left by the CSX [railroad] tracks to fill a pot hole at the end of his driveway. He was asked to return the gravel to the pile and no charges were filed.

Can they verify that he returned EVERY. SINGLE. ROCK????

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A Man accused his ex-father-in-law of threatening him, but informed the deputy he could not recall what threat was purportedly made.

Wouldn't that be an important detail if you're going to accuse someone of threatening you?

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A woman reported receiving numerous calls from someone cursing and "speaking nonsense."

I'm certain my mother didn't mean to dial THAT number.

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A woman complained that her child's grandmother keeps coming to the property to leave money for the child.

Someone please give that sweet little grandmother MY address. I promise I will see that the child gets the money - minus a small service charge.

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Burglary reported on ____ _____. No items were reported missing, but several pieces of furniture had been moved.

Dang, that happens at my house EVERY DAY!

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