Monday, September 14, 2009

To Members of the 6:30 Spin Class......

Dear Spinners:

Do you think we haven't seen you scowling in the door during the final minutes of our line dancing class on Monday nights?

Yeah, I'm talking to you.

Your expressions fairly shout, "They call THAT exercise?" I think I've even caught a couple of you rolling your eyes at one another. You huddle outside the door, peering in the window impatiently every couple of minutes, waving your towels and your water bottles and stretching every now and then.

Tonight we get word that we have to end our class five minutes early so you can line your little trikes up. Excuse me, but are you MORE entitled to your sixty minutes than we are? We pay the same dues. We had 17 in our line dancing class tonight. How many of you spinners showed up? It was almost a moot point, because I had the opportunity to run over your skinny little instructor in the parking lot. I still owe her one for that last step aerobics class of hers that I went to. Emphasis on last.

I know for certain that we don't burn nearly the number of calories that you do.

But how about we do this:

You wear your little spandex size twos and haul your pretend bicycles to a country and western bar somewhere near Atlanta, and we'll see who comes out of there alive.

Boot scoot boogie this.



Neena said...

I'd hate to run into you in a dark alley! RAWR!

Julie said...

You sound like Towanda

Do you recognize this quote?

I never get mad, Mrs Threadgoode. Never. The way I was raised, it was bad manners. Well, I got mad and it felt terrific. I felt like I could beat the shit out of all those punks. Excuse my language. Just beat 'em to a pulp. beat 'em till they begged for mercy. Towanda the avenger. And after I wipe out all the punks of this world, I'll take on the wife-beaters, like Frank Bennett, and machine-gun their genitals! Towanda will go on the rampage. I'll put tiny little bombs in Penthouse and Playboy so they'll explode when you open them. And I'll ban all fashion models who weigh less than 130 pounds. And I'll give half the military budget to people of 65 and declare wrinkles sexually desirable. Towanda, righter of wrongs, queen beyond compare!

Maggie said...

Exercise makes me angry, too. (Oh that wasn't the point??? LOL) I think those spinners think they are hot stuff. Go ahead knock 'em down a peg or two!

(And Julie, I LOVE that quote from FGT!)

Lakeland Jo said...