...yeah you, the one with the raccoon-looking sunburn and lips that will more than likely break out in a million fever blisters tomorrow or Monday and a voice way too hoarse for a non-conference game, not to mention an empty pocketbook...
Football in the South in August is brutal. I understand it had been 9 years since you went to a game Between the Hedges. And Uga VII was making his first appearance today, and the last time you were at Sanford Stadium was when Uga VI made HIS debut. I get that. And I understand that watching it on television cannot compare to being there, because it just means more when you share the 90 degree heat with 92,756 of your closest friends. Even though you could have sat in the air conditioning (or better yet, the pool) and listened to Larry Munson call the game, I get that you needed to return to your college days and attend the season opener in person. I even acknowledge that part of the thrill was buying the tickets on eBay, satisfying in itself because you REFUSED to be outbid. I comprehend that you wanted to make it a girls' day at the stadium because hubby had to work and he NEVER stays past halftime anyway. I grasp the concept of leaving home at 8:00 AM for a 12:30 kickoff when the stadium is just over 30 minutes away from home.
I get all that. But I'm writing this reminder for next week, when you will have forgotten just how miserable it was sitting (standing) in the glaring sun for three and a half hours. Constantly wiping sweat with the towels they gave out at the gate, the best thing they have EVER handed out at a football game. Drinking three 20-ounce bottles of water and wishing you had more and never even feeling the slightest need to pee. Worrying that your shorts will fall down because they have become so heavy from perspiration. Dealing with the drunks and almost wishing you could BE one of the drunks. Smelling people you don't even know. Spending more on one tailgating experience than you will spend on groceries for all next week.
Excuse me, are you listening, Self? You keep cutting your eyes to the Alabama-Clemson game, and I want to make sure you are paying attention.
- The game next week is televised.
- It comes on at 3:30.
- You have a pool.
- And it's Central Michigan.