I Must Be a Slow Learner.....

If you follow me on Facebook, you will already have seen the gist of this blog post. Full disclosure here. And perhaps a tad of mental laziness.

Hubby and I are in Mississippi, where he is playing in a golf tournament. I brought my bike (again), both to give me something to do while he golfs, and a way to get some miles in on the bike. I created a couple of routes on the computer, playing close attention to the roads' prominence on the mapping website. Because I've been tricked before and thought I was mapping REAL roads that turned out later to be dirt roads (and therefore impossible - nearly - for me to ride on with my skinny tires), I chose only roads that were BIG and FAT and BOLD on the map.

I chose the route for today and started following it, but realized immediately that I was following it BACKWARD. No biggie; the beauty of loop rides is that they always come back to the same place. I just had to be sure I watched the GPS carefully. Normally it "beeps" to indicate upcoming turns, but it isn't smart enough to know if you're following the route backward. It still shows a bright pink navigation path, but if you start looking around and get caught up in the scenery, chances are you might look down and say, "Oh crap! Where did my pink line go?"

That's not what happened today. I realized immediately that the pink line had turned right, and it would have been a simple matter of turning around to correct my error. Instead, I thought to myself, "I'll just go this way and see where I end up." Apparently where I ended up was on some sort of speedway. And the contestants were racing logging trucks. Getting off that *^%¥&$ road became paramount in importance. So I turned right on the next available road. Then I thought with one more right turn, I could head back to the original route. I knew the dangers. I told myself that in a worst-case scenario I could go back to the speedway.

"Pavement Ends" may be a cyclist's least favorite sign. And it may come as a complete shock to you, but I've been accused of being stubborn. I was going to tame that $&%^# dirt road if it killed me. Besides, I don't backtrack.

My bike still isn't speaking to me.

 It turned out a lot better than it had the potential to, and I (once again) lived to tell the adventure. A 62-mile ride didn't kill me, I didn't get accosted by any miscreants (Hubby's buddies cannot BELIEVE I don't ride with a pistol, and they're suspicious of my explanation that it would weigh too much), and I enjoyed some beautiful countryside. Besides, it was much cheaper than sitting in the casino all day. I mean, if last night is any indication.

Our Atlantic City Trip.....

Hubby and I traveled to a certain casino in Atlantic City for our Christmas-gift-to-each-other trip this year. It was one of those deals where the casino paid for our airfare and accommodations (and we wound up getting all of our meals except one comped), and all we had to do was gamble.

Whenever anyone has asked us how the trip was, we have both replied, "It was all right."

But I have to stop and wonder here: Would our responses be any more enthusiastic if we had won a boatload of money? Or any money? Does the whole experience get colored by our success (or lack thereof) in the casino? Hmmm....

One thing that was different in this casino was its setup. To get to the registration desk, you had to go THROUGH the casino itself. Hauling your luggage. Every other casino I've been to has been set up so that the casino is in the center, with security people standing at every opening to guard against minors being on the casino floor. But this one forced everyone to march right through the middle of the action.

And speaking of minors, why do people bring CHILDREN to a casino in the first place? It wasn't like there was anything for them to do. There was a pool (outdoor, but with a cool dome built over it so people could actually swim in it), but even it had a sign that said only people 21 and over could use it.

Our flight was late leaving Atlanta, so it was probably around 8:00 PM when we got to our hotel/casino. We didn't stay up super late, and when we went to bed the noise from the room next door was horrendous. There were two adult women and about three or four children, and you could hear every word any of them said. And every other one of those words was "m***** f***er." That's from the kids AND the women. You could hear the video games the kids were playing. Every time they slammed the door. Flushed the toilet.

When we started down for breakfast the next morning, that family was checking out. Hubby and I did a little happy dance right there in the elevator. We didn't have a lot of luck that day, and we turned in very early (our usual bedtime - 7:30 PM) that night. Hubby went to sleep immediately, and I read on my iPad while a football game played in the background. I started hearing something from the room next door and got curious, so I muted the television for a second. I was immediately sorry I had done so. Yes, they were doing THAT, and apparently she liked it. I don't think they came to gamble. On the third night, another loud family moved in. Sigh.

I know I shouldn't stereotype or assume things about people from different parts of the country. The casino we frequently visit in Mississippi is in a very, very rural area. It's where I took a 65-mile bike ride and was at 49 miles before I found a store. That's rural. The first time we went there, we were absolutely thrilled to find a Wally World. Rural.

I expected to find a different clientele in Atlantic City. I even packed differently - no jeans, and only two pairs of shoes: a pair of high-heeled black boots and what I called my "wicked" shoes (destined to be featured on a Favorite Things Friday). Midway through day 2, I would have sold my soul to the devil for a pair of sneakers. Especially after playing craps for a couple of hours, because I had to stand up.

But casino people in Atlantic City were just like casino people I've seen everywhere else. Lots of blue jeans and t-shirts, lots of shorts and flip-flops (hello? 50 degrees is not THAT warm). Now I'm no snob and I'm certainly not one to hand out fashion advice, but I was surprised that people were dressed as casually as they were.

We could have taken a shuttle to any of four other casinos owned by the same folks, but we didn't even venture outside the whole time we were there. And I certainly wasn't of a mind to WALK anywhere.

I'm not sorry we went, but it's not a place we'll probably go back again. On the other hand, if they send us a free trip to Vegas, color me there.

Speaking of colors: We had a pretty good run on the craps table one night, and Hubby was cashing in his chips. I saw the dealer hand him an orange chip ($1000), and I yelled down the table, "We don't DO orange! Get two purples!" The dealers were quite puzzled. Hubby, paying me about as much attention as he usually does, happily took his orange chip. And gave it back to them the next day.

Maybe Later.......

I said I would write about my favorite casino games tonight, but I'm honestly just too tired. We didn't win a bunch of money (yet), but we're not broke (yet) either, we are just so damn tired. I don't know what it is. We didn't stay up late last night, we slept until our regular time this morning, and we are both just exhausted. I'm not this tired after a 50-mile bike ride! Hubby is already snoring, and I'm going to attempt to read some of my book, but it doesn't look too promising. My eyelids are already drooping. This traveling business is hard work.

Sorry for the lame post.

Early to Bed...........

I fully expected to have to write an entry of apology tomorrow, begging forgiveness for not posting tonight. I was all ready to explain that we got so caught up in the excitement of winning that we couldn't tear ourselves away from the casino floor. Instead we came back to the room to get more money. (I never take all my money with me at one time. I know me pretty well.) Once we got here, we said "What the hell, let's just go to bed." Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. It can't get a heck of a lot worse. Wait.....forget I said that.

This is a casino we haven't been to before, in Tunica, Mississippi. It's sort of in the middle of nowhere, just like the other one we go to. At least as far as I could tell from the back of the shuttle bus from the airport. Correction - the UN-AIR-CONDITIONED shuttle bus. I'm used to getting on the elevator and going down to the casino. Or at most walking across the street via an over-the-street pedestrian walkway (I'm sure it has a formal name, but I don't know what it is), a three-minute walk at most. Here you have to get on a shuttle bus to go from the hotel to the casino. Sure the shuttles run every 7 minutes and they run 24/7, but it's still not like walking downstairs. Oh well, it's a new experience.

I was up waaaaaaaaaaay too late last night, TRYING to watch the Braves game all the way to the end. (Is it Braves game? Or Braves' game? I mean, is it the game of the plural Braves? Or is it the game that the Braves collectively possess? It's these questions of grammar and semantics that keep me up at night.) After a certain point I had invested so much time that I was determined to see the game to the end. It was tied at the end of the 9th inning. And the 10th. And the 11th. I made it to the 16th inning, and then I couldn't stay awake any longer. The game went to 19 innings and ended at 2:00 AM. It also ended with a Braves (Braves'?) win on a VERY controversial call. It appears the umpire said to himself at the beginning of the play, "Screw it, I don't care where and when he crosses the plate, I'm calling him safe. I don't get paid overtime for this crap." Oh well...... he owed us for some pitches he called strikes on our guys when they were somewhere near the ankles. And throw Nate McLouth out of the game? Are you KIDDING me?

If I don't post tomorrow night, take that as a GOOD sign. If I do post, I'll write about my favorite casino games.

Cutting my losses (what does that even MEAN?),

Bragger

I Need a Vaccination........

Or is it a vaccine?

Anyway, I need a shot. And not of tequila. Wait....what? That's an option?

I am suffering from grumpitis. I am so grumpy that I almost can't stand MYSELF, and I certainly don't know how the folks around me are standing me. I'm not exactly sure what initiated this grumpiness, but there are several candidates:

• Hubby and I are leaving tomorrow for another trip, and this time we are going by airplane. It's a trip to a casino we haven't been to before, and while I'm not OPPOSED to the trip ..... I wouldn't have CHOSEN it. I love to fly, but the confirmation we received has me a little worried. It's one of those $199/person deals that includes airfare and hotel rooms at the casino. The card we got in the mail said to report NEXT TO the British Airways desk. Next to? What kind of airline is this, that it doesn't even have its own name? If I'm wrong and Hubby has secretly booked us a trip to England, I will apologize publicly and never be grumpy again. Or at least not for a long time. Or for the weekend. 
• Because of the trip, today was sort of my last day off for the summer. And I spent it ..... at school. Our furniture was just delivered yesterday, so I spent today unpacking boxes and attempting to set up my room. I'm glad I went and got a jump on things, especially when there weren't too many other people around. It's just not how I would have chosen to spend my last day off. Next week is pre-planning, but I may or not be there because of.....
• Impending Grand Jury duty. I don't mind doing my civic duty, really I don't. I've never served on a jury before, either a traverse jury or a grand jury, so I figure it's about time I acted like a responsible citizen. I think it's the uncertainty of it all. I don't know the procedures, I don't know the process, I don't know what to expect, and I don't know how long I might have to report for jury duty. 
• It looks like my idea to purchase the cottage at the marsh isn't going to come to fruition after all. I wasn't turned down for financing, but the bank wants me to make a down payment of 10%, and that will eat up all my savings. I've been trying all year to build my savings up, and while I think the cottage is a good investment, I can't stand the feeling of being broke. I went into this saying that if it didn't happen then it wasn't meant to be, but it's easier to SAY that than it is to BELIEVE it.
• My blood pressure has dropped precipitously in the last few days, and it makes me feel out of sorts. I don't want to start adjusting my medicine, especially considering the fact that we will be out of town for three days, and without my doctor's knowledge and permission. I thought the drop yesterday was associated with doing a tough bike ride and allowing myself to get a little dehydrated. (Ironic, isn't it, that you are more likely to become dehydrated when you ride in the rain?) But it has continued to be low today. As in only double digits on the top AND the bottom. Weird.
• I've been having a little trouble sleeping. It may be related to any combination of the above items. Perhaps a glass of wine will help. Worth a try.

Off to generate some happy thoughts.....

Our Tee-Totaler Friend.......

The woman who will be riding to Mississippi with me this weekend is the wife of Hubby's closest friend. They have been married 40-something years, and you can tell that within the first five minutes of being around them. They argue and fuss just like the couple of old somethings they are, and if she's driving with him in the car, you better just have a nerve pill handy.

He drinks like a fish; she drinks none. She never has. She will go to the casino, out to eat, to ballgames, to tailgate parties, and she enjoys herself, but she doesn't drink.

Hubby said something one time about her being a tee-totaler, and I said I didn't consider her one. In my mind, a tee-totaler was someone who didn't drink AND was judgmental about folks who did. This lady never came across as being judgmental, probably due to the 40-something years of hauling her husband's drunk butt around all over the county.

Then one time we were at the casino, playing the slot machines one morning after breakfast before the guys went to play golf. I ordered a bloody mary (because that's what you DO at the casino, before you switch to something else after lunch), and she sort of scolded me. "Do you really think you need to drink that this early in the morning?" she asked.

Yep, she's a tee-totaler all right.

Musings About Cycling in Mississippi......

• Mississippi has a lot more dirt roads than we do here in North Georgia.
• Mississippi also has a lot more undeveloped land. 
• Dogs in Mississippi are even more likely to be loose than they are in Georgia.
• If you speak sweetly to two dogs because they are behind a fence, one of them may crawl under the wire and chase you, teeth bared, for a mile. Or more.
• Many people in Mississippi are dumbfounded to see someone riding a bicycle.
• Many dumbfounded people in Mississippi are still friendly.
• Mississippi has a tremendous amount of road kill.
• You can only hold your breath for so long when you are forced to ride right past a dead skunk.
• If a woman out walking with her small son tells you, "I don't even go down that road alone in my truck," it's a good sign you should turn around.
• If you leave your bike outside the clubhouse at the golf course and go inside to get some water for your water bottles, you shouldn't then go out the BACK door of the clubhouse and wonder where your bike is.
• If you walk through the construction entrance at the casino at break time for the workers and you're wearing cycling shorts and jersey, expect a lull in conversation. At least until you are out of earshot.
• If you do more cycling than gambling, you will bring home almost all the money you took with you.

A Shopper's Rationale.....

I'm not a huge shopaholic, but boy can I justify buying something I want. Or just buying sometimes for the sake of buying.

When we were at the casino last weekend, I was up at one point to the tune of $800. That felt pretty good, and we still had two more days to go.

Guess how casinos make their money?

By lunchtime the next day, I was only up $100. I was feeling a little depressed, like I had lost $700, when I still had more money than I brought with me.

The casino we frequent is actually TWO casinos, across the street from each other, joined by an over-the-street walkway. Between the two casinos are some shops, and I can't resist ducking into one (or two or three) of them every trip. One sells all kinds of apparel and other merchandise with college logos on it, but I don't stay in there very long because UGA merchandise is definitely in the minority.

Another store, however, is a jewelry store.

When I was feeling a little down because I wasn't making money hand-over-fist anymore, I decided to try out the OTHER casino. But there was that jewelry store, "sitting there just like a spider..." [Name that movie].

I went in and browsed, looking mainly at earrings. I like different colored stones, and my eye naturally fell on some topaz earrings, because yellow is my favorite color. Topaz isn't my birthstone, but you can only justify buying so many pairs of diamond earrings. I picked out some lovely oval studs that were well within my price range.

"There's a beautiful pear-shaped pair in our 50% off display case," the clerk said.

Fifty percent off! What a bargain!

The earrings that were fifty percent off were still way more than the first pair. But in my mind, I was saving WAY more money than I was going to spend at first.

So I bought them. Don't you love that rationale?

I'll post a picture when I'm not so lazy.

My Video Poker Ritual.......

Every time I go to the casino, I play video poker exactly once. It's not my favorite game, and I do it for someone I never met.

Let me explain.

I have an awesome cycling buddy named Larry. I met him the first time I did RAGBRAI in 2004. I cannot describe to you what a kick-ass cyclist he is. On top of that, he is F-I-N-E in a way that makes my teeth sweat. But he's also just a nice guy. On a weekend ride one time, he talked me into a much longer ride than I wanted to do, and he stayed with me. All day. At a much slower pace than he is used to. I said to him, "Larry, you're such a gentleman to stay with me." And he replied, "Well damn, I was just about to say I was going to go on." But then he HAD to stay with me, which was fortuitous, since he changed my flat tire just a few miles from the end.

I never met Larry's wife. Not even his CLOSE cycling friends met her. She struggled with some form of mental illness that may have been agoraphobia, I'm not sure. She didn't leave the house unless she had to, including going to doctors when she wasn't feeling well. Larry finally talked her into going on a cruise, but just before they were to leave, she was forced to go to the doctor. That's when they discovered she had Stage 4 liver cancer, and she died three months later.

One place that she DID love to go, however, was to casinos. No, I can't figure it out either. Larry told an adorable story about one time when they went to the casino, and he took his bike along. When it was time to leave, he left on his bike, giving his wife a meeting location and approximate time he would get there. This was before Larry could be bothered to carry a cell phone on his bike.

He took off on his bike, and when he reached the meeting point and his wife wasn't there, he probably thought he had ridden better than he had anticipated. Or maybe he thought there was a tailwind. At any rate, he knew she would be along sooner or later, so he kept riding.

And riding.

And riding.

And riding.

And riding.

And riding.

Until he reached their home.

He had ridden his bike 126 miles. All the way home.

Shortly after he got home, the phone rang. It was his wife.

"Oh good, you're home. I started winning."

Every time we go to the casino, we pass through Larry's hometown. When I asked him once which game his wife liked to play, he said video poker.

From then on, I started playing video poker one time every time I go, in memory of a person I never met.

Week before last, just before our trip to Mississippi, I received a letter from Larry, one I get every year. He rides in a bike ride called "Ride of Love," and proceeds from it go to Camp Smile-a-Mile, a camp for children with cancer. I usually send him a donation; he sends one when I do the ride for diabetes. His letter was once again asking for donations, and I put it aside to do when we got back.

At the casino, I put $20 in the video poker machine. Then I put another $20.

Then I hit four of a kind.

The payoff was just over $100. I cashed it in, put that Benjamin Franklin in a separate spot from the rest of my money so I couldn't lose it, and I sent it to Larry this morning for his bike ride.

I thought it was so cool that I could make a donation from money I won playing video poker in memory of his late wife.

Larry is getting married again this summer, to a fellow cyclist who is also a law professor, and I am so happy for them.

Signs of the Apocalypse - Casino Version.....

First of all, I apologize for the lack of a blog post yesterday. I was sitting at the poker table at our favorite casino when I realized it was 11:51 Georgia time. I started to surreptitiously fire off a blog post on my Blackberry, but blogging with my thumbs is a challenge and I probably couldn't have managed it in 9 minutes anyway. Then there is the fact that they will ask you leave a poker table if you have your cell phone out. And then there was the sudden realization that it takes a huge ego to believe that a last-minute, thumb-written blog post is vital to the well-being of anyone out there. I try to keep my ego in check. Having a husband and a daughter usually takes care of that.

Already there have been several signs of the apocalypse in the 15 hours we have been here.

• In this, our favorite casino, where we have been numerous times over the last few years, where we rarely have to pay for our room because we gamble enough, they assigned us a room with access for handicapped people. Including the drive-in shower. Huh?
• No, it isn't Vegas, but people usually try to assume a certain level of decorum in a casino. For example, I've never seen a fight in a casino, although it was a close call last night because of the dude I was sitting next to. I almost slugged him for his bad language. If Hubby had been at the table then, he probably would have. Because apparently there is a huge difference in a man using the "F" word in front of his OWN wife, and someone else doing it. Whatever. Back to the level of decorum. As we walked through the lobby this morning, presumably before some people had had a chance to get good and drunk, there was a guy brushing his teeth. In the lobby. And carrying on a conversation at the same time. Huh?
• I saw a sign for a shuttle bus to the other casino. Seriously? It is located....... wait for it..... Across. The. Street. With a covered, elevated pedestrian walkway connecting the two. It has moving sidewalks. And someone needs a shuttle? Huh?
  
• When I came to the lobby to use the internet, because this hotel doesn't offer internet in the rooms because they'd much rather people be in the casino, there was a man with an open book, a pen, and a notepad spread out on the largest table. (I'd point out that he did NOT have a laptop, as three others of us did, trying to balance them on tables no larger than dinner plates, but that would be un-Christian of me.) He was talking to himself and writing furiously. Nothing at all strange about that. Then I realized the book he had open was the Bible. Huh? Was he copying it? Preparing a Sunday School lesson? Is he the opening act for Willie Nelson tonight? (No, we're not going. If Willie Nelson were singing at the adjacent poker table, I would move.) A Bible lesson in a casino? Huh?
• As I started to type this, I looked up and noticed the same man, the one with the Bible and the notepad, doing toe-touches. In the hall. Right outside the fitness room. Huh?
• Finally, I am in a casino with several buffets, numerous gift shops, several hours of free time on my hands, more cash (so far) than I came with, my crocheting, and a good book, and I'm about to go ride my bicycle in the general direction of the next town, which is 20 miles away. Huh?

Merry Christmas....

We are in Mississippi at our favorite casino. It's where all good heathens go on Christmas. We figured we already had enough toys. This way we either go home with loads of $$$$ or we go home broke like the rest of America.

Merry Christmas, y'all!!

Our Sweet Suite....

We've been to this casino a number of times, and I think they can see us coming. "Here come the suckers who will give us all their money before they leave.......Give 'em a nice room to lull them into complacency!"

This is the nicest suite we've ever had. This is a shot of the bedroom. Fairly nondescript; requisite television, nice bench seat underneath the window. We were on the 10th floor.


Below is a shot of the bathroom. Double sinks. If I were picky......and I'm really not......I would question why they put the hair dryer on the left side of the counter (out of sight in this picture) and the make-up mirror all the way on the other end. Toilet was behind the door to the right of the picture.


We had both a shower and a tub with jacuzzi jets. It wasn't.........quite..........big enough for two. I really like the glass shower. Unfortunately, if you left the doors to the bedroom open, there was a mirror right in front of you while you showered. I tended to shower with my eyes closed.


This is the "kitchen." We didn't have a refrigerator, but we did have a sink and a coffee maker. and the ice machine was right outside our door, so we didn't have to go far to fill up the cooler.


Below is the OTHER bathroom. Seriously. It was right inside the door to the suite. Like maybe it was for those times when you come back to the room and just hope against hope that you can make it to the bathroom in time. Or maybe it is designed so that couples don't have to argue about who is going to follow whom in the bathroom.

This is the living room, with ANOTHER television, a desk where I theoretically should have been able to get lots of work done (internet wouldn't work in the room, for some reason, even though it had a hub plug-in for it), and a table where we could have eaten room service if we had spent enough time there.

This is a view out our window of the restaurant at the top of the "moon" to the right. We've never eaten there; we don't usually take proper clothes for a dress-up restaurant.


This is the other casino across the street. They are part of the same resort. Actually, the one across the street was the only one, and they needed a bigger one. So they built one across the street from it and built a bridge from one to the other, complete with moving sidewalks. You can go from one casino to the other without ever going outside.


The casino across the street also has a very nice jewelry store there. I'm not allowed to go there anymore.

Best Laid Plans....

I should know by now not to plan things too strictly. I only get frustrated when they don't work out. We are in a casino in Mississippi, and hubby is playing golf. I had it all figured out.......while he was playing golf, I would catch up on my online grading, catch up on my blog reading (but not necessarily in that order), and surf the net for a while before the UGA game comes on. Then I would watch the game in our room, because after all, although I've proven that it IS possible to sit at the three-card poker table for nine and ten hours at a stretch, we also have all day tomorrow to kill with NO GOLF, so I'm pacing myself.

The game, however, is on regional television (THANKS, Vandy, for losing LAST WEEK), and may or may not be carried on the televisions here. If it is, I'll have to sit in the bar. It's relatively..... no, make that completely..... dangerous for me to sit in front of a video poker machine for three and a half hours in a place where the drinks are free. And I don't think you're allowed to just sit there and drink and NOT gamble. That would pretty much put them out of business, I think.

But the internet won't work in our room. Granted, it's a nice room...... I'll post pictures later, because the suite we are in is larger than my first apartment. I wanted to wait until housekeeping comes in first. Nothing more vulgar than posting a picture of an unmade hotel bed. Well, there probably ARE more vulgar things in the world, but..... Whatever.

So I'm sitting in the cafe next to the casino floor using their wireless service. But there are no televisions nearby, and the wireless doesn't extend to the bars. Arrrrggggghhhhhhh!!!!! What a problem-filled life I lead. So here are my choices:

• Go the bar anyway and hope the game is on. And hope I can win enough to stretch out my time there for the whole time the game is on.
• Sit in this cafe and follow the game online and hope there aren't customers who actually want to sit down and.....I don't know, eat?.......
• Scrap the whole ballgame idea and go to the 3-card poker table, where my favorite dealer Penny is probably already on duty.

I've got an hour to decide. Maybe I'll go grade some assignments.

Planning My Life Away....

Hubby and I have planned our Fall Break to a casino in Mississippi in two weeks. (Whoever came up with the idea of a Fall Break for public schools, I think I'm in love with you!)

We have also planned our Spring Break trip to Punta Cana, Dominican Republic. It's the only place we've ever vacationed that hubby said he would like to go back to. He's loved every place we've been; he usually just thinks that with all the places in the world to see, once you've seen one you don't need to go back there. I, on the other hand, would vacation in Aruba every single year.

Katydid and I have planned an April trip to Nashville for the SEC gymnastics championships. Which makes me want gymnastics season to start. And I'm hoping our other sister will go with us too.

I feel like I have just wished/planned an entire year away. Sheesh, we're not even done with college football yet.