Monday, May 3, 2010

I've Created a (Texting) Monster.....

Hubby resisted text messaging for the longest time. I finally broke him by sending him naughty messages to which he just HAD to respond.

He's gotten into the groove, though, and often he even INITIATES the messaging.

In the past when one of us has been out of town, we might go an entire weekend (or longer) without talking on the phone. With text messaging, though, we are in constant contact.

Here is a string of messages between us while I was gone to Florida. When I first started composing this blog post, Hubby was opposed to it, so I said I wouldn't publish it (that day). I don't think there is anything in here that he need be ashamed of. Besides, I decided it's no different from him repeating a conversation we've had to his golf buddies. Like telling everyone on the freakin' golf course just how much that check WAS that my mother gave me for my birthday.....

Note which of us is the English teacher.

Me: At the gate. Two hours to wait. For future reference, they want you to take the CPAP out. NOT pack it on the freakin' bottom. I hope they put my underwear back.

He: Live n learn go find cold one to pass the time for future ref about three hrs plenty have fun

[Thirty minutes later]

He: Found a plane yet?

Me: Just about to board. Can't wait for my complimentary drink. Ha ha.

He: Let me know when you get there.

Me: Oh tay. Love you!

[Eighteen minutes later]

Me: My pre-departure beer is on the way. Yay!

He: Don't get too drunk to fly. They may need your help.

Me: I will just jump. Using my seat cushion as a life preserver of course.

He: Try to land on your feet

[Two hours later]

Me: On the ground. Standing outside waiting for [Sweet Girl]. Too short a flight - only time for two beers.

He: That's $25 each not counting nice seat.

Me: AND first off the plane. Plus, I'm worth it.

He: Braves down 1 and lucky.

[Next day]

He: Home again

Me: Is that a question or a statement?

He: What you talking about? Got new rewards you got $75 match.

Me: Were you telling me YOU were home? Or asking if we were home? We are about 30 minutes away from [Sweet Girl's].

He: I is home. Broke again. Lost $9. Cheating bastids.

Me: I will let you borrow $9. [Sweet Girl] says you're not ok'd enough t

Me: Oops. You're not old enough to play with those geezers.

He: Had me way confused.

Me: I'm the confused one.

Me: McCool qualified in beam to compete Sat for championship. Missed floor by .025.

He: So I'm home you not i'm happy you? Gonna play tomorrow hopefully more better. Luv U.

Me: We are touring Cecil Field. Love you also.

He: Cecil who?

He: Pills [This is in response to the VERY LOUD, VERY OBNOXIOUS alarm we set on his phone to remind him to take his pills in the evening.]

Me: Glad you remembered. :)

He: How could I forget?

[Next day]

He: Up yet?

Me: Of course!

He: Ready to come home?

Me: Of course! Ha ha.

Me: We're going to the zoo today.

He: Do not feed the animals. Going to a sort of zoo myself.

Me: Do not feed THOSE animals your money. Ha ha.

He: Me & Jason playing ray & Vic. May be tough.

Me: Oh you can handle them. I have faith in you.

He: Ain't no hill for a mountain climber.

Me: I'm not going to finals tonight. Had enough orange and blue yesterday for a lifetime. [For those of you who don't know and might be remotely interested, the gymnastics championships were held in Florida's home arena.]

He: Saw Mc advanced on beam. [Hello? Did I not JUST TELL YOU THAT in an earlier text message?]

Me: Yeah. Missed floor by .025. Not her best effort.

He: Gotta charge phone will talk later. Luv U. [That's a nice way of ending the texting conversation.]

[Next day]

He: I is home safe and sound.

Me: Past your curfew ain't it?

He: I is a grown man. Stupid buy grown.

He: Not buy but.

Me: What do you mean stupid? Are you confessing?

He: Playing with Roger I rest case but I win $5.

Me: Who brought him back from the dead?

He: God works in mysterious ways he's gonna be there next week. [We're going out of town for a golf and gambling trip. Again.]

Me: Uhhhhhhhh......... I think I have something pressing that will keep me at home.

He: I'll make it up to you. :)

Me: OKAY!!! Poor old Florida is currently in fifth place. Wah wah wah wah.

He: Lost lil Brutus but unfortunately she came back.

Me: To be so dumb, she always manages to find her way home.

He: She was out back (under porch) and so happy to find her way in.

Me: Did she have that Michael Tucker look?

He: How did you guess?

He: Watching Braves?

Me: No, watching gymnastics. How are the Braves doing? Better than last night?

He: 1-0 us off to bed luv u talk tomorrow. [Again with the polite dismissal.]

Me: Night night. Love you.

He: Luv u 2 got nu club 2day get they ass tomorrow if it don't rain.

[Next day]

He: Raining.

Me: That sucks. All day?

He: May get a break but chance for storm later maybe severe. Weather guys showing only waist up.

Me: We are going to the Arts Market this morning. Then the event finals tonight.

He: Have fun. Sun's out.

[Two hours later]

He: New club right handed what a pisser plus now raining again.

Me: Not too late to change your game. Or maybe it is. Can you send it back?

[An hour later]

He: Got your title so it's officially paid for. Not gonna play just be couch potato.

Me: Yay! Now pay for motorhome and we can be jetsetters. ha ha.

He: Little Brutus missing in action again oh well.

Me: Don't get your hopes up.

He: Don't really know if she's in or out think she went out this morning but it was raining so wasn't watching gonna gave bad storms this afternoon she may get x.

[Two hours later]

He: She was hiding just got hungry.

Me: Just like me. Ha ha.

He: You hiding?

Me: No but I will always show up for food.

He: Pills

[Four hours later]

Me: Just about at the point of maximum saturation. [Referring to the fact that the gymnastics national championships are almost a gymnastics overdose. Even for a die-hard like me. And I didn't even go to two of the events.]

He: What's the song Help me make it through the night.

Me: Yep. Maybe with the aid of a beer. Or three.

He: It always seems like a great idea at the time but you can only stand so much (fun)

[Half an hour later, at 7:20 PM]

He: Bout ready for bed probably play tomorrow so I'll see you after luv u

Me: Night night. Love you. See you tomorrow. Mwah!

[Next morning]

He: Chomping at the bit?

Me: We should be boarding. But there's no plane!

He: They heard about possible terrorist.

Me: They do keep looking at me. Same guy who did my upgrade is down there to guide the non-plane into the gate.

He: Multi-tasking

Me: Job security. Da plane! Da plane!

Me: Now he's driving the baggage tow truck.

He: Fly carefully

[Two hours later]

Me: On the ground. Waiting on the shootle.

He: Welcome home.

[Two hours later]

He: Home yet?

Me: Yeah. About an hour ago.

He: Gus happy?

Me: He didn't say. But he hasn't left my side. :)

He: That'll be two of us.

Me: You're sweet

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