I'm Baaaaaaaaccccckkkkkk..........

Whew .... vacation is EXHAUSTING!

I won't bore you with the blow-by-blow of every single thing we did in our three days (grumble, grumble, grumble) at the beach.

I will tell you, however, that taking my precious road bike was perhaps the BEST decision I ever made. Well, maybe not EVER. But at least the best one pertaining to this particular vacation.

Hubby and I have inexpensive little mountain bikes that we take with us on most RV trips. I don't do much mountain biking; the last time I tried, the trail nearest our house kicked. my. butt. But my road bike isn't good for riding around rugged campgrounds and on trails and sand, so I usually leave it at home. Hubby will RELUCTANTLY ride the mountain bikes around a campground, but he is afraid he can't ride as far or as fast as I do, so he makes excuses not to ride. The mountain bikes never left the RV rack this time.

This time I had looked at the map, though, and I realized there was a pretty nice road to and from the state park that should have only light traffic on it. I wish I could have made an entire day of riding, but I pictured Hubby sitting back at the RV pouting and missing me (more likely pouting just because I was enjoying myself), so I only rode 30 miles. I rode 15 miles out, turned around on a dime in the middle of a road, and headed back.

It was my favorite kind of ride. There was a headwind going out (there's ALWAYS wind at the beach, I reminded myself), but that turned into a sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet tailwind coming back. I rode part of the way on a nice little bike path, and coming back I nearly blew an entire family off the path as I passed them.

This is not what I usually see from my bike. Attempting the Rozmo Method of Bicycle Photography, I snapped this WHILE I was riding. I am a professional; do not try this at home.

Here is a shot of the nice bike path. On a different stretch it actually had little white lines painted on it.

Some obligatory shots of the beach and all things beachy. (Shouldn't use the word "Beachy." I'm a little mad at him after last night's performance against the Rockies.)

The nice thing about staying at a state park was the fact that it was not crowded. Well, the campground was a little crowded, with campsites much closer together than we're used to, but the beach itself was pleasantly uncrowded.

We saw something I've never seen before, at least not live and in person. We saw actual dolphins surfacing (stop laughing at me, please), and late in the day there were a couple of them jumping out of the water, clearly showing off.

The following pictures are hereby offered into evidence as proof that National Geographic will NOT be calling me anytime soon. Note my expertise at photographing dolphins. (Or are they porpoises? I'm not sure what the difference is.) If you squint, turn your head sideways, use your imagination and perhaps a Sharpie, you MIGHT just be able to make out a faint dolphin tail. Or the splash he or she left behind.

And now if you don't mind, I think I'll go drink the two mini-bottles of wine I had left over and drown my sorrows at being such an awful nature photographer. Photographer of nature. Whatever.

Right after I change my desktop background to this.

Spotty Service............

I just told Hubby, "We are officially in the boonies.". When my usually-reliable Verizon connect card won't even work, it's a sad case of internetitis. I couldn't even blog with my thumbs from my cell phone last night. My apologies. I tried, I really did. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this post goes through.

This park is waaaaaaaaaay better than the one I chose last year. The beach is a short walk away (but Gus still can't go - boo), and civilization is a short bike ride away. We are on Saint Joe's Peninsula, not far from Port St. Joe, Florida. We are apparently right on the line between Eastern time zone and Central. Our cell phones keep switching back and forth. Hubby has an alarm on his phone to remind him to take his pills at night, and today it went off at 6:00 Eastern AND 6:00 Central. But we are on vacation, so who really cares what time it is anyway?

May not get to post tomorrow night either. It's not for a lack of trying. We are having a marvelous time. Pictures when we return on Wednesday.

Returning to the Scene of the Crime......

Hubby and I have planned a trip to Jamaica the week before Christmas. We have reached the point where we'd much rather spend money on something we can both enjoy rather than buy each other more STUFF. We've got just about all the stuff we can handle in our basement right now. We are also both pretty bad about buying whatever we want for ourselves, so there's nothing left for the other to buy as a gift.

Hubby has never been to Jamaica before. I went with my ex on a trip that I lovingly (**ahem**) refer to as the trip from hell. Sweet Girl went too, and I wish I could just erase the whole trip from her past.

To start with, I brilliantly scheduled this vacation to fly out of Atlanta on an August Sunday in 1996. Specifically, the day after the FREAKIN' OLYMPICS ended. You know, the ones that will always be remembered for the bomb going off in Centennial Park? Yeah, those. It is therefore no exaggeration to say that we were in the airport with just about everybody else in the entire world.

Secondly, it is never good advice to travel with a drunk. Because a drunk just cannot NOT be a drunk at an all-inclusive resort. We got to Jamaica on Sunday; the drunk threatened to kill me and Sweet Girl on Monday. I will forever wish I had taken all our documents and left him there. Better yet, I should have had him arrested and let him rot in a Jamaican jail. I just wish Sweet Girl hadn't had to be there to witness that debacle.

We're not going to the same resort, or even the same city in Jamaica. I want to give the island another chance; it wasn't the island's fault I made the mistake of taking a trip with an alcoholic, abusive, evil, scumbag of a person. Perhaps he did me a favor when he shot up the house a month after this trip.

I wish I had a delete key for that whole marriage. Instead I just continue to carry life insurance on his sorry ass.

The Best-Laid Whines.....

I knew Hubby would want to start home a day early (we always do), and I was okay with stopping halfway again at the same state park where we stayed on the way to Florida. I was wary, though, because I know him well, and I knew that when we got on the road he would start suggesting that we just go the whole way home, effectively cutting our vacation a day short (we always do). I was prepared to argue that we shouldn't tire ourselves out with a long drive, that we had groceries for tonight, that we didn't really get a chance to explore the park very much when we were there Saturday, that it would make the drive home tomorrow much more bearable, yada yada yada yada yada.

I was prepared for whenever he brought it up.

It all went to hell, though, when we stood outside our motorhome this morning, gazing into the creek, and I blurted out, "What do you think about just going all the way home today?"

It is good to be home. And now he can play in a golf tournament that he was going to have to miss tomorrow morning. Don't tell ME about ulterior motives.......

Short Little Ride/Walk......

I remembered to put the GPS on my bike today, but we didn't ride nearly as far as yesterday. We rode over to the beach and then walked for a while on the beach. I wanted to keep going, but Hubby was interested in getting back to the air conditioning.



This would be a wonderful place to kayak, if I had mine with me. I think they rent them here, but if I had mine we could launch it right next to where we are camped. There's only so much you can haul on a motorhome, though. Maybe someday we'll get a trailer....

It's been a good vacation for relaxing, but we are all relaxed out. I think Hubby is anxious to return to the golf course, and I'm ready for a little activity myself.

The Good, the Bad, the Ugly, and the Scary......

I almost deleted yesterday's whiny post when I reread it this morning. It's not like me to go off on a vacation THAT I PICKED OUT AND PLANNED and then complain about what's wrong with it. The site is a little disappointing, yes. but we are somewhere we've never been before, we are in the motorhome, and we are together. So I realize I have few grounds for complaints.

Besides, we have Bloody Mary stuff.

The Good

We have satellite television, and it's mostly because of me. Hubby had me type up the instructions from Stanley-the-bootleg-cable-guy, which I did faithfully. I printed them out and even brought them with us. And nothing was working when we tried to set up the satellite system. You would have to know Hubby to understand how unpleasant it is when he can't get something to work. Especially something he's having to do in the blazing sun when it's 90-something degrees outside. I won't bore you with the details, but the satellite system was giving us a setting that Stanley didn't mention. When I suggested we try it, Hubby snapped, "He didn't say anything about that! He didn't do that when he was at our house." It involved loosening three bolts on the satellite and rotating it. I thought (but didn't say aloud) that what we were trying wasn't working and it couldn't hurt. Finally Hubby said, with no small amount of derision, "Fine. Put it where you want it." The most satisfying sound I've heard (at least recently) was the beeping of the television to indicate it had located a satellite. He hasn't once acknowledged that it was my suggestion that finally worked, but he knows it. Better yet, I know it. Hee hee hee.

The Bad

My first photos this morning. When we left the (blessed) air-conditioned cool of the motorhome and ventured out in the steamy morning to take photos, I didn't allow time for the lens to adjust to the new temperature. So the first few pictures, including one of Gus swimming in the creek, were too foggy to save. Perhaps I'll do better tomorrow. I'm not sure what to do, though.... put the camera outside for a little while first? Suggestions would be appreciated.

I did get the picture below, of a funky tree I am fascinated with. I also posted it on another blog, a photography blog of which I am honored to be a part. Venture over there to see some fine pictures by some other women I know only through the Internet.





The Ugly

Thankfully I don't have a picture of this one. Hubby and I took a leisurely bicycle ride across the road and down to the end of the bike path to a beach. We weren't allowed to swim there, but we walked out onto the beach and stuck our toes in the water. Before that, though, we circled through a parking lot, where I promptly fell off my bicycle and skinned both knees. In a parking lot. I was barely moving. It sort of reminded me of the time I fell off a horse that wasn't moving. Hubby waited a while to test the waters as to how much teasing I would tolerate about falling off the bike. A lot, apparently.

The Scary

I wish dogs could talk sometimes. I got out of the shower tonight and reached across the bed for my clothes, coming into contact with Gus's foot. He yelped like I had stabbed him, so I felt his paw to see if I had injured him. I didn't see how, because I barely touched him. He jumped off the bed and ran to Hubby, limping and holding up his left front paw as if to say, "Mama broke my leg!" I accused him of faking and exaggerating, but I lifted his paw again to see if I could see anything. I found a thorn sticking into the front of his lower leg, and when I pulled it out you would think I had amputated his leg. He yelped and yelped and yelped, and he startled me so badly that the thorn went flying out of my hand, so one of us is destined to pick it up again. All he had to do was TELL me he had a thorn in his leg.

On the way down here yesterday, having left home a day early to break the trip up into two days, I realized Hubby would probably have the same idea about going home. I was already planning how I was going to refute his arguments and insist on the four full days. When my visions of carrying our chairs down to the beach each day were dashed by how far it is, I decided that leaving a day early won't be that bad after all. We'll stay at the same adorable state park where we stayed Saturday night, almost exactly halfway home, and we won't have a six-hour drive in one day. And I will admit it is a good idea just as soon as he acknowledges it was MY solution that gave him satellite television in the motorhome.

The Only Way to Go is Up......,

I guess it's the danger of booking online.......

This campground is a disappointment, to say the least. Rather than being "on the beach," it is actually across the road from the beach. And once you cross the road the beach is still a long way away. We walked over there this afternoon, but we couldn't go onto the beach because they don't allow dogs. Bunch of communists. We're going to ride the bikes over there tomorrow.

The camping area itself is on something they call a creek, but it looks a lot like a swamp. Lots of screaming kids around. And when we got here at about noon today, they told us check-in wasn't until 3:00 and we could "wander around" for a while. Wander around in a motorhome that gets approximately 8 miles per gallon? He checked and discovered that the people in site #35 had checked out early, though, so he relented and let us go ahead and check in.

We think we know why the folks in #35 checked out early.

Pictures tomorrow. Maybe I won't be in such a negative mood.

My Spontaneous Hubby.....

Who says he can't be spontaneous? And flexible?

No, I'm not talking about THAT. Get your minds out of the gutter.

We were supposed to leave in the wee hours tomorrow morning for a motorhome trip to Florida. Yesterday, however, Hubby decided we should break the 6-hour trip up into two days, so we left this afternoon after he got home from golf. The downside to that was that I had to drive, since golf=beer. No wait.....that's not a downside at all, since I hate his driving. And driving the motorhome isn't scary at all anymore.

I looked online and found us a campground about halfway to our destination. I felt so smart and smug.........until we got to the campground and found it closed down forever. Shouldn't people take their websites down when their businesses tank? I'm just sayin'......

I punched "state park" into the GPS, though, and it took us to an adorable little state park that was right on the highway we were already on. Yay! I backed the motorhome in just like a pro (a pro who was completely dependent upon the bald-headed guy waving directions at me). Now it will be just a short jaunt to the beach tomorrow morning, and we won't spend our first day completely wiped out by the long drive.

I wanted to post some pictures of the Spanish moss for tonight's blog, but Hubby fixed me a Bloody Mary.....so there you have it. In fact, I just had to type the word "tonight" three times. And that's just one Bloody Mary.

I'll just go ahead and prepare you..... The next few blog posts will be of the "what I did on my summer vacation by Bragger" variety.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Good to Be Home......

As wonderful as it is to go away on vacation, it is equally awesome to come back home. I will go through my pictures later (probably after BRAG, when most of you will have forgotten that I ever WENT on a cruise.....) and post any that are decent.

There are some things I will miss about the cruise, and some things I won't.

I WILL miss having a stateroom steward make up the bed for me. Twice every day.

I WILL NOT miss the screaming "little bastards" who ran up and down the halls at night. I bought a stateroom on that level because I thought people with little kids wouldn't spend that kind of money!

I WILL miss the buffets.

I WILL NOT miss the constant swaying and dipping of the ship. This was our fourth cruise, and I don't remember the seas being that rough before. And uh..... could it please stop now that I'm back on land? Please?

I WILL miss the sparkling, clear, blue waters of the Caribbean.

I WILL NOT miss the "balcony" on which we had to squeeze past our chairs just to sit down. I'm thinking this particular cruise line, the one with the big red and blue whale tail at the end of the ships, is guilty of serious false advertising.

I WILL miss the towel animals we found on our bed every night. Only on the last night could we agree on what the animal really was. And it was NEVER a scorpion, no matter what Hubby says.

I WILL NOT miss the loud-mouthed dude who sat next to me at the poker table last night. I seriously almost put on my teacher voice to ask him, "DO. YOU. EVER. SHUT. UP?????" Instead I just relinquished my seat (and stack of chips) to Hubby.

I WILL miss the drink of the day.

I WILL NOT miss Trevor the Cruise Director.

I WILL miss the look on Hubby's face when he tasted Curried Chilled Apple Soup. Followed closely by the look on his face when at first the waiter served him a bowl that was empty except for a thimbleful of apples in the bottom of it.

I WILL NOT miss taking a big old forkful of mayonnaise, thinking it was some sort of pudding that Nurse Jane had brought for Hubby.

I WILL miss naps. Several of them every day.

I WILL NOT miss the wind. Lots of it.

I WILL miss having Hubby bring me a cup of coffee every morning.

I WILL NOT miss $3.95 bottles of water in the stateroom.

I WILL miss the beautiful beach on Half Moon Cay.

I WILL NOT miss the crowds in Nassau, precipitated by the fact that there were FIVE STINKIN' CRUISE SHIPS IN PORT AT THE SAME FREAKIN' TIME.

I WILL miss one cab driver being thrown off the property at the Atlantis resort in Nassau because he couldn't provide the proper documentation that he was registered. Even though it was a little aggravating to have to hoist ourselves out of his taxi. The same officer who threw him off the property welcomed him back with a handshake when he showed up ten minutes later with his paperwork all squared away.

I WILL NOT miss the parade of private yachts that cruised past us while we were in port in Nassau, generating supreme bitterness and causing me to make obscene gestures at the people in those yachts, when they hadn't really done anything to me personally.

I WILL miss the relaxation. And the sunrises.




Next week when it is 90 degrees outside and I am riding a bicycle across Georgia, I will try to remember standing at the railing (of our microscopic balcony) and how the cool breezes felt.

Vacation is Killing Them.....

One of those Kodak moments that got away from me....

I had the perfect opportunity to capture Hubby and Gus, both asleep in the recliner. But when I got up to go get the camera, Gus got curious enough to open one eye. And when I came back, he decided he needed to be an equal opportunity recliner dog, and he jumped over here with me. He tries very hard not to play favorites.

But he couldn't sustain it, and he got down in his usual place under my laptop table. He props his little head on the bar all the time. It doesn't look comfortable to me, but he must not mind it.

Hubby is on vacation this week, and he didn't get his "power nap" today. He mowed the lawn, he put pine straw out, he had a man come pick up some scrap metal that we have somehow accumulated, he repaired the telephone line where said man yanked it out of the side of the house in his zeal to get at our scrap metal, he worked on the pool pump, he sprayed for weeds.

I floated in the pool.

Oh hush up, I helped too. I did the PUSH mowing, and I did most of the pine straw on the bank where we've planted juniper. And I washed my motorcycle. Most of it.

I just find it much easier to relax than Hubby does.