I was on the phone with my dear friend the Warrior Princess last night (whose son signed with the Texas Rangers but then decided to go to college after all, and I'm sorry I haven't updated THAT story lately), and I was trying to explain my level of exhaustion and puzzled about why.
It suddenly dawned on me why this school year I've been so tired so often and to such an enormous degree. (Can you have an enormous degree of tiredness? Please let me.)
I said to her, "I'm not teaching. You know that game at the kids' pizza joint? Whack a Mole? That's what I do. All. Day. Long."
If you're not familiar with Whack-a-Mole, here is a video clip to demonstrate.
Only in MY world, there are 20 moles. And they pop up with alarming speed and frequency. They also team up and pop up in twos, threes, fours, and fives.
"No, you can't go to the vending machine. You just came from lunch." **WHACK!!**
"I don't know if the tampons Mrs. K____ has are 'super' or not, but you're welcome to go ask her." **WHACK!!**
"Please stop throwing Stephen's bookbag across the floor. This is a HIGH SCHOOL." **WHACK!!**
"You made a 64 the first time you took your topic test and a 48 the second time. The goal here is for you to get smarter." **WHACK!!**
"Please tell me that is not dip spit in that bottle. Are you out of your mind? That's an automatic suspension. Please enjoy your day off." **WHACK!!**
"Your mom is coming in Monday morning for a conference. Do you want me to base my comments to her on today's performance?" **WHACK!!**
"Get off that internet site and do your work." **WHACK!!**
"Please stop singing while you work. You're not one of the Seven Dwarfs, I'm not sure that is really singing, and you're getting on all our nerves." **WHACK!!**
"No, I will NOT look through your quiz with you and tell you which ones you missed BEFORE you submit it to be graded." **WHACK!!**
"You must do your homework/practice if you expect to get a retake on a quiz." **WHACK!!**
This post cannot possibly convey how rapidfire all these things are happening in my room. And I promise you I did NOT make these up. This was just during the last period of the day! I feel like a whirling dervish. And this is only a small sampling. It was Friday, so many of our students took the day off. My colleagues and I are seriously considering getting some of those big inflatable Whack-a-Mole bats. Surely they can't fire us ALL.....
I'm disuausted. And it has nothing to do with the 18-mile bike ride home.