Monday, October 25, 2010

I Think I Know Where they Get Their (Lack of) Manners.....

Sometimes I struggle to come up with a topic for a blog post. There are days when I actually start fretting about it early in the day. I don't want to skip a night, and I don't want to resort to "what I did today" topics (like I've been depending upon for the last three days, but only because I was so excited to have a new bike). I want to be witty and clever every night, but sometimes when I've played a gazillion games on the Nintendo had a busy day at school I just can't come up with anything new.

Sometimes, however, a blog topic comes up behind me at Subway and screams a topic into my ear.

After yesterday's flurry of domesticity, you didn't really expect me to sustain it all the way through the process of cooking a meal tonight too, did you?

After line dancing I went to Subway to fetch two footlong subs for our dinner for tonight. It really solves two meal problems: it gives us a quick and easy meal (after which I don't have to clean up) and it provides both of us with lunch for tomorrow.

A sweet looking little family came in and got in line behind me. I realize children have no concept of invading the personal space of adults, and the little bastard boy child seriously violated my personal space. Most of the time I can ignore it, but I'm talking he stepped on the back of my freakin' flip-flop! Twice! I resisted the urge to turn around and slap his little jaws growl at him glare at his father move away every so slightly. I just knew any moment the father would grab the little darling by the shoulder and instruct him on waiting BEHIND the person in front of him.

But then the father's cell phone rang.

I think the ringtone was the theme from Twilight Zone. I can't remember clearly because in the next instant all practical thoughts were B-L-A-S-T-E-D from my brain, along with both eardrums, by the father's laughter.

It was so loud, and so right next to my head, that I instinctively put my hands over my ears before I even thought about what I was doing. I was afraid I might embarrass the man.

Silly me!

The laughter continued.

I sidled away as far as I could without abandoning the sandwiches that were in the process of being dressed. The lettuce began to wilt under the power of this man's boisterous laughter. A bottle of mayonnaise committed suicide by jumping off the counter. I had to raise my voice to the person dressing my sandwiches so she could hear me. I got my hopes up when she picked up a sharp knife, thinking she was going to hand it to me. But no, she was merely slicing my sandwiches.

I am certain that nothing, NOTHING, has ever been that funny in the history of the world. The laughter went on and on, louder and louder. I have no idea what the person on the other end of that conversation could have said in that short a period of time that was that funny.

But I have a pretty good idea what kind of people those children are going to turn into.


Maggie said...

I hate parents. I hate little kids. I hate rudeness. However, I do love Subway.

frogger_blogger said...

And I love your way with words! They are like brush strokes that paint a vivid picture. I felt I was right there suffering with you.

Evil Pixie said...

What Maggie said. :)