Thursday, July 8, 2010

Police Blotter Blogger Fodder Part 5......

It's been a while, so I thought I would post some of the recent antics of people in my county. This should make you want to go throw your arms around your entire community and exclaim, "We are NORMAL!"

  • An Obama supporter contacted authorities after a man "shot him a bird." ...... [I won't go into all the different times this has happened.] The man admitted making the gesture and explained that he did so because he feels Obama is ruining America and he knows the victim is an Obama supporter. The deputy drove to the bird flipping man's house [yes, our "newspaper" actually printed it that way] and explained that the victim was very upset over the continued middle finger gestures. After jokingly saying he would gladly stop making the gestures if the victim would put a sign in his yard admitting that Obama was ruining the country, the man agreed to stop visibly demonstrating his opinion of the current administration in such a manner.
  • A man said someone rang his doorbell and then left before he could get to the front door.
  • A woman said a man in a "wife-beater" t-shirt came to her door attempting to sell ball caps. The woman said she did not wish to purchase any and the man left. A deputy later located the man inside the neighborhood and verified his identity and reason for being there.
  • [This one would be funnier if it didn't happen to be one of the students we JUST GRADUATED from our school.] An officer stopped Tom Thumb after noticing his vehicle did not have an operative tail light. When the officer approached the vehicle, he noticed a strong odor of marijuana and asked Thumb if he had been smoking pot. "I ain't going to lie. I smoked a blunt about an hour ago," Thumb is reported to have said. [He gave permission for the officer to search the car, during which a bag of marijuana was found in the pants belonging to one of his passengers. He and the other passenger were probably extremely ticked off that the one with the marijuana was holding out on them.]
  • A woman said she was visiting with a friend when her friend's neighbor walked to the end of the driveway and wrote down her tag number. The neighbor said she is taking down all the tag numbers of the cars that visit the house because she believes the occupants of the home are selling drugs.
  • A deputy was dispatched to a business after a witness advised seeing the man "playing with himself" in the cab of a commercial vehicle. The suspect was found sitting in the driver's seat of his vehicle wearing underwear. The man claimed he was in the process of changing clothes. According to the man, he had to change his pants because he recently had a vasectomy and his pants were restrictive to the point that they were causing him discomfort.
  • A deputy was dispatched to a home after a woman noticed her dog's food dish had been taken out of her back yard. The woman described the dish as being gray in color, two inches deep and about the size of a dinner plate. The woman further advised that she paid $2 for the dish at Walmart. There are no suspects at this time.
  • A woman reported seeing a vehicle driving through the parking lot of a nearby church. The responding deputy did not see any suspicious vehicles in the area.
  • A man said he received threatening calls from an acquaintance who referred to him as a "Bosnian gypsy."
  • A woman reportedly threatened to charge her soon-to-be ex-husband with abandonment if he moved out of their home.
  • A man called authorities after a young male came to his door at just after 3 a.m. and tried to sell him a jig saw and a sander. The same male returned three hours later and tried to sell him grocery items.
  • A man called 911 because he believed his neighbor had shot his dog. Once he was able to get a better look at the dog's injuries, he realized the animal had most likely been hit by a car. The dog was taken to a veterinary hospital for treatment.
  • Three windows were broken out of a 1994 Toyota truck. The victim suspects his ex-girlfriend may be responsible and that, based on his experience, a female is most likely the culprit. [You think he's been through this before?]
  • A man called 911 after hearing shots from a neighbor's yard. The neighbor said he had fired his shotgun six times and was done for the evening.

And this one has to be my favorite this week:

  • A vehicle was reported stolen. The COMPLAINANT was later arrested when it was discovered she was wanted. The car thief was also arrested when she was stopped at a check point and did not have her license in her possession. The car thief did, however, have a large quantity of methamphetamine with her.


frogger_blogger said...

These are absolutely hysterical!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

oh my word.