Breaking Up is Hard to Do......

I have been trying to think of a tactful way to break up with my hairdresser. I know that in a perfect, professional world I would just say to her, "It's not working for me anymore. I'd like to try someone new. No hard feelings."

I just can't bring myself to do it. This is not the big city here; we are definitely small town. As in she had her shop in her house, back before she and her husband lost everything. How in the world do I break up with a hairdresser who has lost her home, her business, her husband's business, some other property, and was forced to move into her daughter's basement? How do I break up with the hairdresser when I taught that same daughter when she was in the 9th grade?

She works in the cafeteria of one of the middle schools in the mornings and does hair in the afternoons. Working in the cafeteria, particularly in a middle school, is a thankless job. And she does it for no money. By the time they take out for her insurance, her paycheck is in the neighborhood of 50 cents. I'm NOT exaggerating this time. She said sometimes she doesn't even cash the checks. Granted she only works that job BECAUSE it has benefits, but still.

On top of her personal problems, she's a nice person. And a good hairdresser. Most of her clientele, however, are little old ladies who come in for a wash and set every week, then a perm every month or so. She does the same thing for them every time they come in, and they love her for it. Since she lost her own place, she has moved to a fairly busy salon where the other stylists are similar and the clients are the same little old ladies.

She's not big on innovation. It's time to have the natural blond put back in my hair (again), and already I'm dreading it. I would like for her to use foils to highlight my hair, but she told me once a long time ago that she hated doing foil and that she isn't very good at it. How do I ask her to use foil when I know she doesn't like it? And is that a good enough reason to go somewhere else?

I get the feeling that her heart isn't in hairdressing anymore, and I know she is completely demoralized by the recent turn of events in her life. She might even be relieved if some of us start going someplace else, but how do I know? I really, really don't want to risk hurting her feelings. I would shave my head before I would hurt her feelings.

Ugh. Reason #4687109583 I wish I were a man.