Poetic Justice.......

I don't know what made me think of this story tonight on my way home from line dance class.... But as soon as I thought of it, I thought to myself, "Whew! There's a blog topic for tonight and I don't have to sit there in front of a blank screen." It's the little things that make me happy.

Way, way back about a hundred years ago, when I was in college, I sang in the Women's Glee Club. Every quarter I was there. Because I just liked singing, and it filled up some elective credits. Almost everyone else in the glee club was a music major, and it was a requirement for them to sing in one of the campus organizations.

We were invited once to sing at the Southern Division Convention of the American Choral Directors Association. No, I didn't remember all that. I just got the record -- RECORD!!!!! -- out to get the name of the organization. The convention was being held in Knoxville, Tennessee, and we had to get matching dresses and all that jazz.

I was an Alto II, and the section leader for that section went on to become Miss Georgia and compete in the Miss America pageant (she was second runner up. Had to look that one up too.). All of that has NOTHING to do with this story.

I remember our director, whom we ADORED UNABASHEDLY, was going over the rules, expectations, and schedule one day during rehearsal. I don't remember why it came up, but she said, "And be aware that the drinking age in Tennessee is 19."

The drinking age in our state at that time was 18. Although I was a sophomore, I wasn't 19 yet.

My mouth went into gear before my brain could stop it, and I blurted out -- loudly -- "OH NO!!!!!!" No one else was saying anything. It was kind of like when you're talking at the top of your lungs over the music in a bar and the power goes out. Sort of.

Everyone laughed, and the director raised her eyebrows at me, and rehearsal went on.

On the day of our performance, I distinctly remember eating some shrimp salad. At a buffet. One of those that kind of sits out in the hotel lobby or something. Shrimp salad. Buffet. Sitting out. I think you know where this is going.

I made it through the performance, but there was approximately a lifetime of picture taking. I was about to pass out. Because I am short and ALWAYS on the front row, I knew it was going to be quite a scene when I toppled forward. Somehow I got the idea that if I could just take my shoes off, everything would be all right. The girl next to me figured out what I was about to do, and she hissed, "DON'T. YOU. DARE."

So I didn't take my shoes off, they finally finished taking pictures, and I didn't faint. I beat a hasty retreat to my room, and while everyone else was out partying that night, I was praying to the porcelain gods.

On the bus on the way home the next day, the director said something about not seeing me the night before.

She had no idea.

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Side story, and I'm not making this up:

There were three couples at that time with the female in the Women's Glee Club and the male in the Men's Glee Club.

Tony and Joni.
Cheryl and Ferrell.
Me and..... Michael. My name does not rhyme with Michael.

10 Things to Do on a Lazy Sunday......

Ten things to do on a lazy Sunday:

1. Sleep in (until 7:20)
2. Have eggwiches for breakfast
   
3. Play a gazillion games of Mario on the Nintendo DS
4. Finish the book for my online book club
5. Play Bubbleshooter on the computer
6. Entertain Weesa and Sullen Teenager (they came for Father's Day)
7. Have chips and dip for lunch
   
8. Watch the U.S. Open golf tournament and be glad Tiger did NOT win
   
9. Watch the Braves beat the Tigers
10. Have sandwiches for dinner

10 things NOT to do on a lazy Sunday:

1. Laundry because you got it all done yesterday
2. School work because you aren't teaching summer school
3. A project for your online job because they STILL haven't come up with a contract and besides you have until mid-July to get it done
4. Wear make-up
5. Exercise
6. Work on the family scrapbook because you are pretty much OVER anything having to do with SOME cousins in the family
7. Clean up the "computer room"
8. Gather clothes for goodwill
9. Clean off the baker's rack and move cookbooks to it
10. Anything requiring energy
    

Turning a Negative into a Positive....

I reread last night's blog post and felt a little bitchy for the things I said.

Then my sister-in-law drove up to use OUR pool, and I didn't feel bitchy anymore.

Hubby and I had walked in the park and then taken our breakfast back to the park for a little impromptu early-morning picnic, and then he did some yard chores while I stayed inside and pretended to be busy.

Then his sister drove up, and after a while of doing outside work, Hubby said he was going to get in the pool too.

Great.

I proceeded to get busy in earnest. I vacuumed upstairs and downstairs, stripped the bed, put in a load of laundry (it sneaked up on me this week), cleaned the bathroom, and unpacked my suitcase from the conference.

I was out of excuses, and I had to go outside in order to avoid being OUTWARDLY bitchy.

She stayed for three hours. But at least the house is clean.

A Little Presumptuous.....

I knew it was a risk of having a swimming pool. Hubby's sister helps herself to it almost anytime she wants to. It would be different if I liked her and I could go out there myself and hang out with her. But when she comes to swim, I feel trapped in my own house. I don't go get in my own pool until she's gone.

The day I got home from BRAG, there she was in my pool. "I thought you weren't getting home until later." Sigh. That wasn't the worst of it. She then informed me that her used-to-be-boyfriend-now-just-a-hanger-on was also coming over, along with his two grandsons, her granddaughter, and her granddaughter's friend. The granddaughter is almost 13, but she's one of those who has to come in the house every five minutes to "go to the bathroom."

All I wanted was to take a nap. She knew I wasn't happy about it, and that made me feel kind of bitchy, but I was exhausted from the week's ride and wanted nothing more than some peace and quiet. I was too tired to care if I pissed her off or not. Luckily a fierce thunderstorm blew in and sent them scampering for home. I guess. They don't let us know when they leave.

It isn't very nice of me, but it's a different story if MY sisters come over. I LIKE having them here. On the rare occasion we are all here together, we hang out at the pool and laugh and talk and have a grand old time.

When SHE'S here I watch the front yard to see when her car leaves.

Hubby feels pretty much the same way I do about his sister, but he's too nice to tell her it's not convenient for her to come over. She called him today (I'm sure MIL keeps her informed as to when I'm not here) to say she wanted to come over tomorrow to "get some sun."

Hubby is taking the weekend off from golf, and that is such a rarity that it warrants something special. Like maybe hanging out at the pool together. Alone together.

When people say they don't want a pool because they're too much trouble, I THOUGHT I knew what they were talking about.

Sigh.

Nobody Else Would Have Even Thought of It.....

I'm spending the night at Nurse Jane's house because it is only about 20 minutes from the location of my 2-day workshop/convention/conference/"learning symposium". Give me a break.

Is it just me, or does anyone else see the irony of me having to leave my home for two full days AND spend a night away from home for a conference for my ONLINE JOB?

I am very grateful for Nurse Jane's hospitality.

It's touches like these that make me wish I could be her when I grow up:



If you've ever been on a cruise, you know the stateroom attendants create animals out of towels and leave them on the bed in your stateroom every night.

I went on the same cruise that Nurse Jane did week before last, but do you think it would have EVER crossed my mind to make an animal out of a towel and leave it on her bed if she were spending the night with me?

To go online and find the directions for making such an animal and then go to the trouble to create it?

To make an elephant just because she knew it was my favorite animal in the world? (All you Freudians, pipe down out there.)

To leave a mint on the TURNED-DOWN bed?

It was enough just to have a place to spend the night.

Laughing so hard I almost wet my pants was just an added benefit.

Thank you, Nurse Jane!

Wednesday Randomness.....

• I survived the bike ride last week, but doing chores today nearly killed me.
• I bought a book to read for my online book club (yes, Maggie, I'm actually READING this one!), and then I got a notice that a book I had on hold at the library had come in. I can't read two books at once!
• I bought a Nintendo DS on the bike ride last week. Not as a gift....for myself.
  
• I have been playing Mario, and it jumped from World 3 to World 5. I don't like things that don't go in order.
• Our cat has developed the annoying habit of claiming one of our chairs every time one of us gets up. He weighs too much to shove off in the floor. I have to rattle a plastic grocery bag at him to get him out of the chair. He HATES that noise.
  
• I have to go to a two-day meeting tomorrow and Friday.....out of town....for my online job.
• I am presenting on Friday, and I have not created my presentation yet.
  
• I have been working on the scrapbook for our family reunion for the past three days. I am so over doing captions. I figure at this point if you can't tell who is in each picture, you probably don't give a rip about the scrapbook anyway.
• I need a separate bag just to carry the cords for all the gadgets I own.
  
• I bought a Kindle because I thought I just had to have one, then I sold it because I wasn't crazy about it. I'm thinking about buying another one.
• I was worried about being off during the summer after Hubby retired. But it has actually been pretty good so far. He's home just enough, on the golf course just enough.
• It's a little over 10 weeks until college football starts.
  
• When did Chipper Jones go from "the kid" to someone contemplating retirement? Where did the last 19 years go?
  
• Should a 49-year-old take the poster of Chipper Jones off her wall?
• Yesterday we interviewed 17 prospective students for our program next year. Some of them made me want to cry. Some of them just made me want to cry.
• We have another 19 interviews scheduled for next Wednesday, and a day we have set aside in July is already filling up.
  
• Teachers have to report back to school in July for pre-planning. That's just wrong.

Impatience is Not a Virtue......

While my daughter would probably argue with me, I think I have made tremendous strides in the area of patience in my adult life. If a driver cuts me off or pulls out in front of me, I pretend he has a sick baby in the car that he's taking to the hospital. I try not to let little things make me fly off the handle. The other day I bent my pinkie nail all the way back, breaking it way down below the quick (?), and all I said was "Bad word! BAD WORD!!!!"

Where I could use some additional improvement, however, is with the internet. I realize that a mere 15 years ago all I had was a slow dial-up service and Prodigy, and I thought it was the coolest thing ever. I remember my friend trying to explain the wonders of email to me. I asked her, "But what if I'm not ON the computer when you send me a message?"

Now, however, I want things to HAPPEN. RIGHT. NOW.

When I logged on to start this blog, for example, the page took a long time to load. I didn't know if it was A) my computer; B) our internet service; C) the internet in general; or D) Blogger, so I restarted my computer.

That takes a while, so I went to eat some ice cream. At great personal sacrifice.

Then I logged on again, and the little wheel was still spinning very slowly. Maddeningly slowly.

So what did I do?

I clicked on AN ADDITIONAL tab, thinking maybe the Atlanta Braves website would load more quickly. It didn't, so what did I do?

I clicked on AN ADDITIONAL tab, thinking maybe the BRAG message board would load and I could start browsing the many complaints that would have been left in the three days since BRAG ended. (So far I haven't found any.)

Because apparently it isn't enough for the little wheel to spin slowly.

I'm happiest when THREE little wheels are spinning slowly.

Working on my impatience,



Bragger