Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Happy St. Patrick's Day.....


If this shamrock isn't moving when I post this blog, I'm canceling my subscription to Animation Factory. Not really, I need it for school. But I don't understand why it will be animated on SOME things and not others. Stupid clip art. Maybe some techhie out there can explain it to me. But my eyes will glaze over and I will only pretend to understand.

I think about this story every St. Patrick's Day.

My grandmother used to live in Savannah, and we went there fairly frequently to visit her. My aunt and two of my cousins still live near Savannah. One year when I was about 15, we were visiting during St. Patrick's Day weekend, although it was only a coincidence that we were there at that time. We wouldn't have made the trip for something as silly as green beer and a green river and a parade and lots of drunk people. Those ended up just being a bonus.

My cousin and I wound up on River Street on Saturday night with about a gazillion drunk folks. We were walking down the sidewalk, when all of a sudden there was this drunken sailor LITERALLY hanging onto a lamppost.

As I got near him, he swayed out toward me and slurred, "You've got boooooooootiful eyes."

Remembering my home training, I averted my eyes and quickened my pace, wanting to get past this guy as quickly as possible. I was already embarrassed enough to be the chubby, frizzy-haired, out-of-town cousin next to my skinny, straight-haired cousin who lived there. I realize that last sentence lacks parallel structure and I don't care.

So the drunken sailor shut up.

Until I got past him.

At which point he yelled at the top of his lungs, and in a completely sober voice,





"BUT YOU'VE GOT A BIG ASS!!!!!"

I don't remember if I was wearing green or not, but I was scarred for life.