Saturday, March 7, 2009

Dear Redneck Dude...

Dear Redneck Dude with the bad teeth and worse hair:

Perhaps it made you FEEL manly to yell at me as I rode my bicycle (outside the white line, I might add). Maybe you impressed your buddy by telling me to get off the road.

Really you just showed your ignorance.

You see, in the state of Georgia (and many others that you've probably never heard of), a bicycle is a vehicle. We have the same rights, rules, and responsibilities as you and your buddy in the '93 Corolla. Or maybe it was a Hyundai. Whatever.

I know there are cyclists out there who are obnoxious and hog the road. According to the law, that is their right. My friends and I, however, ALWAYS ride single file when there is a car behind us. Besides that, there was NOTHING coming. You could have passed easily. Oh yeah, I forgot, you didn't need to pass at all. You screamed at us as you TURNED LEFT.

Jerk.

You should treat a bicycle just like you would a car driven by your grandmother. In my case, it might be your grandmother on sleeping pills.

If there's room to pass, do so, and use as much of the OTHER lane as you can. If there isn't room to pass, you should WAIT BEHIND THE BICYCLE until the car coming from the other direction has passed, and THEN you pass.

It isn't your road, a**hole. It's OUR road. If you don't want to see bicycles on the road, then I have a great idea for you.

Stay home.

Drink your PBR and watch NASCAR and scratch yourself and pass gas and wonder why your sister has 5 children, none of whom look alike or share the same last name.

But leave me and my friends to enjoy our bike ride in peace.

Flipping you the bird virtually,

Bragger

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