Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Another Jason Story.....

My BFF Jason took me to my first UGA football game (so you can at least partly blame my obsession on him) when we were juniors in high school.

After the game we went to a fraternity party. I have no idea why or how we got there, but there we were. Jason and I got separated immediately, at least as far as I remember.

I assume my mother knew we were going to the football game. I'm guessing the fraternity party was nowhere in her knowledge base.

Some time around midnight my mother became a little extremely concerned because her not-quite-sixteen-year-old daughter had not returned from a football game that had started some twelve hours prior. She wasn't much on sports, but she did know it shouldn't take more than twelve hours to play a game. Heck, this was in the time before college ball HAD overtime, so that couldn't be it.

This was also in the time before cell phones, so she had no way to get in touch with us.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

When there's a will, there's a way.

As I THINK events unfolded, she marched over to Jason's parents' house, where they told her that we were somewhere on the UGA campus and they didn't know how to get in touch with us either.

So Mother said she would be contacting the state police about her missing daughter. That certainly put a new twist on things.

I don't know how, but Jason's parents FOUND him at the frat party. And then somehow HE found ME. Because he was always chivalrous and braver than I would have been in the same situation, he walked me to the door when we got home.

When he spoke up in my defense, Mother told him to shut up. Nicely.

Then Mother said to me, "And I guess that's alcohol on your breath."

Well, she's holding all the evidence, so nothing to do but for me to agree. Nicely.

"I guess it is."

Then she asked one of those world-famous rhetorical questions, for which she was not really expecting an answer.

"And why, may I ask, were you drinking?" [Before you completely condemn me, this was when the drinking age in Georgia was 18. And Jason was almost..... Oh shut up.]

Because I was never smart enough to keep my mouth shut, because I always refused to let an opportunity for sarcasm pass no matter what the danger, because I was not quite sixteen years old, I answered,

"Would you believe because I was thirsty?"

I'm just glad this was NOT the time Mother had the butcher knife in her hand, because she was known to smack you with whatever she had handy. [She did whip spank beat discipline me with the butcher knife once, and I don't even remember why.] This time it was just her hand. She had a cobra-like open hand slap, and my head rocked back on my neck before I knew what was happening.

I don't remember if Jason beat a hasty retreat then or if he was invited to leave at that point, but the most amazing thing is that he continued to be my BFF. And his parents continued to let him hang out with me.

Mother eventually forgave Jason, and she HAD to forgive me. She just had to put it in perspective and be thankful that I wasn't the child she was having to go see on Sundays during visiting hours. Only, however, by the grace of God.....

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