My Feet.....

You don't have to be scared to scroll down.....I'm not going to torture you with pictures of my feet. I only did that once, and that was in reference to my $300 pedicure on a cruise ship.

I was thinking yesterday that one of the things I'm going to miss most about returning to school is NOT sleeping in (I don't do that), it's my flip-flops.

I've never been much of a flip-flop kind of girl. So it's kind of hard for me to explain why I have four and a half pairs of them in my closet. It may be five, if I ever find the other yellow one.

See, I've had this problem with my feet for years. As usual, I am bass-ackward. During the winter my feet were soft and smooth, but in the summer they would turn scaly and crack, to the point that sometimes they even bled. Sorry. I know that's TMI.

One time at my former school, a male student told me, "You know, you probably shouldn't wear sandals." Sadly, it was true. I just didn't think anyone looked that closely. I should have known Robert would.

I had several doctors give me things for the horrible condition of my feet. A podiatrist who had also done the neuroma surgery on both of my feet gave me some stuff that cost ME $80 a bottle, and that was AFTER the insurance paid. He also gave ..... I mean sold ..... me a "prescription" pumice stone. I used them religiously and inspected my feet daily for signs of improvement. They still cracked and itched and flaked and looked disgusting.

My regular doctor ..... oh crap, I didn't make my appointment again today ..... bluebird ..... gave me two prescriptions, the names of which escape me at this moment. They didn't work either.

I went to a dermatologist to have some moles removed, and he noticed my feet because I was wearing sandals. (I didn't pay a whole lot of attention to Robert.) He said he could give me something for them. I told him all the things I had ALREADY tried, and he said, to my relief, "Those are for fungus. This is NOT a fungus; it's just a severe case of dry skin." So he gave me something ELSE that was expensive and yucky. And it didn't work either.

I had resigned myself to the fact that I was either going to have disgusting feet or I would just wear tennis shoes and socks all summer to hide my ugly feet from the world. I figured I would look pretty silly in the pool with sneakers on, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

But this year my feet are fixed.

You wanna know what did it? I'm going to tell you anyway.

Flax seed oil.

I take two capsules every morning, and this whole summer my feet have been as smooth and soft as they are all winter long.

The irony of it is that is not the reason I started taking the flax seed oil. I started taking it in December when I had my lasik surgery done on my left eye. The eye doctor said I had dry eyes (doesn't everyone?) and to take blah blah blah milligrams of flax seed oil or fish oil every day. I'm not really sure I'm taking the dose he said, but my feet look great and my eyes so far haven't sealed themselves shut, so it must be okay.

[Anyone out there ever been tested for dry eye? It was my first time. They take a little piece of paper that looks like the litmus strips we used in chemistry class in high school, or maybe the little strips we test the pool chemicals with. They stick that bad boy right on your eyeball, and then they leave you like that for an hour or two. Or maybe just a couple of minutes. Then they take the stick out of your eye and see how much moisture it has ..... something. They had a little trouble getting it off my eyeball. I thought they were going to have to use a scalpel or something. You're welcome for this riveting description.]

I may just have to go buy some of those really cute "sandals" that are merely flip-flops in disguise. I should be able to get away with wearing those all the way through October.