Hate to Read My Writing.....

I wonder if anyone else struggles with reading his/her own writing.

I don't mean handwriting.

I mean going back and looking at things you've previously written and cringing.

When I was in high school, I suspect that's why I became a good (according to Roger Bailey, the smartest man I ever knew) writer. I HATED to go back and revise. Or even read it again.

My first draft was my final draft.

I had a devil of a time writing my dissertation, because I didn't want to RE-write. I especially didn't want to rewrite Chapter 1 seven times, but I wanted the degree, so I kept doing it over. And my major professor was one of the NICER ones.

I have been published in a book about women who ride motorcycles. I found the link through a fellow blogger, and I submitted my story.

Now I don't want to buy the book, because I don't want to see what I said. I just wrote something off the cuff in the form of an email, which everyone KNOWS doesn't get published.

She wanted something like 100 stories, so it's not like she was being selective or anything.

In other words, mine was probably chosen because she was desperate to reach her 100 story goal.

I'm afraid it sounds trite and stupid, so I haven't ordered the book.

But I've kept the email with the information in it, just in case I change my mind.

For some odd reason, I do NOT have that problem with blog posts. I don't mind reading my previous posts. Sometimes I'll read back through old posts and even make MYSELF laugh.

[Yes, I know I am in desperate need of a life. Don't worry, school will start back soon.]

I come across old journals every now and then, and I just push them to the back of the filing cabinet. Maybe Sweet Girl will want them someday; I can't bring myself to read them. But I can't bring myself to throw them away either.

I also have a chapter in a "scholarly" type book, but I've never read it. She didn't tell me it was going to be CHAPTER ONE!!!! I'm guessing it wasn't exactly a best-seller, because I've never received royalties from it. And if my ex is getting those royalty checks because that's where I was living when I wrote it, they aren't enough to keep his house off the auction block, so I don't think I'm missing much.

The only person I can imagine caring that I've been published in a book is my mother, and since it's about motorcycle riding, she will have mixed feelings about the subject. Anger AND hostility. Not really ..... the last time I rode my Harley to her house, she didn't even let the air out of the tires.