I'll preface this post with an apology. I'm always cynical and sarcastic, and never more so than at the end of a long school year.
I try to remain upbeat about students and focus on the ones that make us proud and remind us that we are doing something worthwhile.
On a Friday night when I'm so tired I could cry, however, my natural sarcasm and cynicism are the rule.
Here, then, are my suggestions for end-of-the-year awards for our students.
Most Likely to Have a Baby -- MA, AA, DB, JS, CB with several potential runners-up
Most Likely to Father a Baby -- PO (but he also gets the Most Likely to Succeed award), ER
Most Likely to Check Out Early Because Your Mother is Having a Crisis -- LW, SB
Most Likely to Check Out Early Because You are Having a Crisis -- CU, KK
Most Likely to Check Out Early for No Apparent Reason -- LL, AL, JX
Most Likely to Leave School without Bothering to Check Out -- CW, SJ
Most Likely to Have a Friend Call School to Check You Out -- JC
Most Likely to Violate the Dress Code -- SH, MK, MM, SB, JM, KK
Most Likely to Stare at the Monitor for Hours without Actually Doing Any Work -- SB
Most Likely to Type on the Computer for Hours without Actually Doing Any Work -- AH
Most Likely to Sleep in an Upright Position -- RH, LM
Most Likely to Miss 2 Weeks in a Row and Then Call in with Flu-Like Symptoms -- AX
Most Likely to Miss 2 Weeks in a Row and Then Show Up with No Explanation -- KB, AT
Most Likely to Pretend to Be Smarter than You Really Are -- NK
Most Likely to Write Inane Crap and Give it to Teachers Instead of Doing Your Work -- HB
Most Likely to Think You're Going to Graduate with Three Weeks Left in the Year and Three Courses Not Even Started Yet -- BP
Most Likely to Remind Teachers Every Single Day that You Have a Class at the Home High School and Therefore Need to Leave Early -- BM
Most Likely to Still be Looking for a Senior Project Topic with Three Weeks left Before Graduation -- SS, HB
Most Likely to Appear to Be Under the Influence of Controlled Substances -- HB, BS, TY, MM, BM, MT
Most Likely to Hang Out in the Parking Lot with a Known Drug Dealer -- NR
Most Likely to Wear Pajama Pants to School Which I Can Overlook Because it's Basically Harmless -- TS
Most Likely to Stop Coming to School with Three Weeks Left Before Graduation -- DS
Most Likely to Make it Only Halfway Through Any Course -- TC
Most Likely to Make Us Wish We Had More Students Like You -- QR, JM, AD