Friday, May 8, 2009

End of the Year Awards.......

I'll preface this post with an apology. I'm always cynical and sarcastic, and never more so than at the end of a long school year.

I try to remain upbeat about students and focus on the ones that make us proud and remind us that we are doing something worthwhile.

On a Friday night when I'm so tired I could cry, however, my natural sarcasm and cynicism are the rule.

Here, then, are my suggestions for end-of-the-year awards for our students.

Most Likely to Have a Baby -- MA, AA, DB, JS, CB with several potential runners-up
Most Likely to Father a Baby -- PO (but he also gets the Most Likely to Succeed award), ER
Most Likely to Check Out Early Because Your Mother is Having a Crisis -- LW, SB
Most Likely to Check Out Early Because You are Having a Crisis -- CU, KK
Most Likely to Check Out Early for No Apparent Reason -- LL, AL, JX
Most Likely to Leave School without Bothering to Check Out -- CW, SJ
Most Likely to Have a Friend Call School to Check You Out -- JC
Most Likely to Violate the Dress Code -- SH, MK, MM, SB, JM, KK
Most Likely to Stare at the Monitor for Hours without Actually Doing Any Work -- SB
Most Likely to Type on the Computer for Hours without Actually Doing Any Work -- AH
Most Likely to Sleep in an Upright Position -- RH, LM
Most Likely to Miss 2 Weeks in a Row and Then Call in with Flu-Like Symptoms -- AX
Most Likely to Miss 2 Weeks in a Row and Then Show Up with No Explanation -- KB, AT
Most Likely to Pretend to Be Smarter than You Really Are -- NK
Most Likely to Write Inane Crap and Give it to Teachers Instead of Doing Your Work -- HB
Most Likely to Think You're Going to Graduate with Three Weeks Left in the Year and Three Courses Not Even Started Yet -- BP
Most Likely to Remind Teachers Every Single Day that You Have a Class at the Home High School and Therefore Need to Leave Early -- BM
Most Likely to Still be Looking for a Senior Project Topic with Three Weeks left Before Graduation -- SS, HB
Most Likely to Appear to Be Under the Influence of Controlled Substances -- HB, BS, TY, MM, BM, MT
Most Likely to Hang Out in the Parking Lot with a Known Drug Dealer -- NR
Most Likely to Wear Pajama Pants to School Which I Can Overlook Because it's Basically Harmless -- TS
Most Likely to Stop Coming to School with Three Weeks Left Before Graduation -- DS
Most Likely to Make it Only Halfway Through Any Course -- TC
Most Likely to Make Us Wish We Had More Students Like You -- QR, JM, AD

1 comment:

Julie said...

And I thought teachers were some sort of unbiased super humans who never saw anything but the very best in their students!

Have you ever seen the children's picture book, Matthew A.B.C. by Peter Catalanotto? It is hilarious. Teachers get to see even more of the idiosyncratic (please don't grade my spelling)daily behavior than their own parents do.