Follower #8, did I do something wrong? Did I offend you in some way or mention a subject that was taboo?
Every time I log into my blog, I check to see if I have any new followers. It's like having someone new publicly declare you as a friend, someone worthy of spending time with, someone who is interested enough in your life that they choose to read your blog daily, or at least pretend to.
I was so excited to realize I had eight followers. I should really only count six. Katydid is my sister, and there is some sort of sister law that requires her to be listed on my blog as a follower. (Our other sister would probably be a follower, but she keeps forgetting to bookmark my blog.) I probably shouldn't count Mamaneena as one of my followers either, because she's a personal friend who got me into this blogging thing in the first place, so she's sort of required to follow my blog as well. Amanda Sue is a former student who has gone on to college, and she probably feels obligated to follow my blog because she still needs assistance with her college papers from time to time. (What happened to that research paper I was supposed to help you with, A.S.? Did you fall into your old bad habits and wait until the last minute and you were too embarrassed to ask me for help at the last minute? You were right to avoid me if that's the case.)
Therefore if I don't count the people who MAY follow my blog out of nothing more than a sense of duty, I had five followers. Five people out there who were interested enough in my life to read my blog on a somewhat regular basis.
And now Follower #8 has disappeared.
I don't even know who Follower #8 was, because I didn't make a list of my followers.
I have scrolled back through recent posts to see what I might have written that would cause Follower #8 to say to himself/herself, "Screw it, I'm not reading this drivel anymore."
Follower #8, where did I go wrong?
Was it yesterday's post about the things I would NOT want to sacrifice simply to keep the internet? Did I come off as selfish and greedy and one who would not share her toys if you came over to play? I really meant I just wouldn't want to have to give those things up permanently.
Was it the post about the spelling bee in the eighth grade? Could it be that you were the moderator and you feel horrible about scarring me for life by putting me out of the spelling bee for spelling the wrong word that I repeated and you nodded your head and let me go on to spell the wrong word anyway? Did your guilt cause you to erase your name from my list of followers? If that's the case, good riddance. You can't undo the past.
Did I offend your sense of good health and nutrition when I wrote the blog about the cookie and candy swap and shamelessly posted the pictures? If that was the one, please believe me when I say that I took the goodies to school and shared them with my co-workers. I didn't eat them (all) myself. I hope you didn't leave me because you think I'm a glutton who cares nothing for her own well-being. I walked in the park twice this week, including today when I had a splitting headache, and I rode my bicycle 46 miles last Saturday.
Was it the whiny post about how "cold" it was here last Saturday when said bicycle ride took place, even though it was in the 50's and in some parts of the country that would be considered balmy? Did you just snap and discard me from your daily reading because there's no way anyone in her right mind would consider 50 degrees cold? If that is the reason you broke up with me, then I apologize. I realize that we are lucky here in the South for our relatively mild and short winters. But I don't think I was meant to be that cold, especially on my bicycle. If it was the leg warmers that embarrassed you into quitting me, I apologize for those too. I have no excuse for them.
Did I scare you away with my blog post about all my unfinished craft projects? Did you get the feeling that the blog is something else I will abandon, and you will be left with a gaping hole in your life where my words of wisdom and inanity used to be? If that's the reason, then it's probably safe for you to come back. Blogging has become addictive, therapeutic even, and I have been known to get up out of bed when I realize I didn't do my daily blog entry. Only in the beginning, though, because it's rare anymore than I forget to write in my blog. Forget to wash the dishes or fold the clothes or pay the trash bill or let the dog out, but I don't forget to blog. Very often.
Was it the post I wrote about why I was not sending out Christmas cards this year? Was I too openly honest (is that redundant?) about the fact that I didn't have any really good excuses, I just didn't want to send out Christmas cards this year? I guess I should have clung to one of the really good excuses and used it, especially the one about protecting the environment and saving the trees or something. But I feel compelled to be honest with my real friends, and blog followers are the realest of friends. Still, I'm sorry if my bluntness disgusted you to the point that you actually removed me from your reading list.
My heart is hurting, Follower #8. Please come back. And bring some friends.