Men Can Be Such Girls......

Hubby asked me a random question the other night, and I was a little dumbfounded.

"Who is Vera Bradley?" he asked.

I had no context in which to place him anywhere near the words Vera and Bradley.

"It's the name of a designer," I answered. "Why?"

"At the casino this weekend, they're giving away either a Vera Bradley cosmetic bag or a coin purse."

"Oh," I said, sort of losing interest. "I'm not really into those designer things." My idea of a good purse is one with the split straps so I can carry it on my motorcycle if necessary. It also has to last forever, because I only change purses when one completely disintegrates.

"So you don't want me to get you one?"

"Well, if you're going to get anything, get me the cosmetic bag." It's a toss up which one I have less of: cosmetics or coins.

He was immediately on the phone with a (womanless) friend who was also going on the trip, trying to coordinate which one would get the coin purse and which one would get the cosmetic bag, so I could have both.

Really?

It's not that important to me. I mean I'll take whatever they bring home (if anything - it will require that they walk ALL the way across the casino), but did it really necessitate a round of phone calls several days in advance?

They left this morning, Hubby having awakened an hour BEFORE the alarm because he gets so excited about going on these golf/gambling trips. Don't tell him I told you that; it would bruise his masculinity. But it's true.

They left our house around 5:15 in an attempt to get through Atlanta before the worst of rush-hour traffic. Hubby texted me from Alabama:

"Wayne forgot his suitcase."

Wayne is the same (womanless) friend he made arrangements with for the Vera Bradley thing(s).

I won't bore you with the whole string of text messages. He wanted me to check to see if the suitcase was sitting in the yard at our house, which meant I had to turn around and go back home. It's not like I've been on time this week anyway, so why start on Friday?

Hubby said I didn't need to turn around, that I would have noticed it, but I couldn't stand the thought of neighborhood dogs getting hold of Wayne's clothes and scattering them all over the neighborhood. I went home, and Wayne's suitcase is sitting in the backseat of his car in our front yard.

Guess they'll be going shopping before they go to the casino. You better believe Wayne didn't leave his golf clubs behind. Got to have those necessities.

Because he's a MAN, they can probably get his shopping done in 10 minutes in a Wal-Mart, and he won't even have to try anything on.

I just hope Hubby brings back some coins for me to put in my Vera Bradley coin purse.

****************

Out of consideration for my many several couple of devoted readers, I changed tonight's blog post. I was going to post a rather grumpy recap of some student interactions I've suffered through had this week.

You're welcome.

Remind me, though, if I forget to tell you later, the circumstances under which I found myself, first thing this morning AT SCHOOL, looking at a picture of a penis on a student's cell phone.

Welcome to the island.

Lord, Forgive Me.......

Please don't let that man die.

I'm not talking about Hubby, although I REALLY don't want HIM to die.

Hubby is leaving tomorrow morning on one of his semi-annual golf trips. It has actually turned into several-annual golf trips, but that's okay too. This is one of two he takes with the same group of fellow golfers, one of whom just happens to be my ex, but that's a story for another day.

I have been planning this golf trip for weeks. Possibly months.

I love my Hubby, really I do. But I also love my "me" time.

Here's what I've been planning to do while he's gone:

• Stay up past 8:00 PM. Possibly as late as 9:00 PM. Or 10:00 PM.
  
• Watch football tomorrow night. Cheer out loud for Ole Miss to beat the crap out of South Carolina. Perhaps even see the entire game.
  
• Crochet. And crochet. And crochet.
• Have macaroni and cheese for dinner tomorrow night.
• Have take-out Chinese food Friday night. (Isn't it sad that I've planned meals 48 hours from now?)
• Go to the 7:30 line dancing class tomorrow night. I don't usually go to that one, but Monday night's class got canceled.
  
• Watch more football Friday night. And see every play, without the necessity to wander off to reruns of the World Poker Tour or Family Guy just because there is a commercial on the channel where football is playing.
  
• Finish watching last night's episode of Dancing with the Stars. And tonight's episode, which I will record because I can't stay awake through the whole thing. Shhhhh...... Don't tell me anything, because I haven't even seen all the women dance yet.

The brother of one of the golfers had a stroke today, and for a little while there was the possibility the whole trip might get called off. (Touching, especially considering the same would NOT happen if it were one of the wives.) But he appears to be doing okay, at least well enough for his brother to go on the trip.

Please don't judge me too harshly because I'm callously thinking of myself. My mama raised me better than that. Actually, my sister did.

When the Hubby's Away.....

I love my Hubby dearly, and after all he IS the world's last perfect man, but when he goes out of town (usually on a golfing expedition), it is sort of a mini-vacation for me.

It's not like I got to a male stripper bar and stuff dollar bills in their Speedos or anything. I just have NO expectations. Few interruptions. No obligations beyond giving Gus a little warning before I push the computer table away so I don't roll over him. I feel so.......free.

I had a Big Mac (can I even say that without violating copyright laws?) value meal for lunch, followed by a pint of Moose Tracks (can I even say that without violating copyright laws?) ice cream. Hubby is diabetic, so I felt compelled to eat the whole thing. He can't come home and find a carton of real ice cream in the freezer. Not that he would be tempted; it just seems cruel.

I had garlic bagel chips and spinach dip for "dinner."

I read a little over half of Of Mice and Men, since my students have been turning in questions from the book all week and I had never read it. Shhhhhhh............. They'll kick me out of the English Teachers' Club.

I took a nap.

I have watched an entire baseball game, and no one has changed the channel even once.

I watched the recording of the gymnastics championships. Again. And no one was here to make fun of me. Actually, that's inaccurate to say, because if anyone had been here, I would have been embarrassed to watch them. Again. I'm almost embarrassed to admit it here.

It is after 10:00 PM, and I haven't gone to bed yet.

I miss Hubby, and I'm glad he will only be gone two nights. That's about my limit.

I'm also glad this is NOT one of those golf trips where he is playing in a tournament with my ex. I don't know why it makes me feel weird when they do that; they certainly don't have a problem with it.