Shopaholic.....

I promise you I am NOT one of those high-maintenance women. I typically dress for comfort (but try to look nice at the same time) rather than paying much attention to fashion. If I'm not careful, I will continue wearing the same articles of clothing for years, completely oblivious of the fact that they have long gone out of fashion. (Aside: Did you know that the correct expression is "oblivious of...." and not "oblivious to....."? I learned that in my doctoral program. Money well spent, I should think.)

I had a co-worker several years ago who was known for making some of the tackiest comments known to man. I don't THINK she was deliberately trying to be mean; she just didn't think before the words came out of her mouth. Example: One morning we were both getting out of our cars at the same time, and she said to me, "Oh, I used to have a dress like that. Every now and then I start to wear it, and then I tell myself, 'Susan, that dress is way out of style now.'"

I had three or four dresses in the same style, and I went home and put them ALL in the goodwill pile. And I liked them! But I could never wear them again without thinking of her thoughtless remark.

And that's another thing. When I find something I like, it's not unheard of for me to have two (or more) of the same item in different colors. I may not even buy them all at the same time. When I was shopping for clothes at the beginning of the school year, I didn't intentionally buy three satin-looking tunic-length blouses that are only slightly different in the design. One is purple, one is red, and one is brown. Yesterday there was a wonderful sale at the ONLY department store our little bitty town has, so I stopped in after school with my additional 25% off elite shopping pass. Yes, I realize I was suckered. I found some adorable boots (can't figure out why I've been on a boot kick lately, but there it is...sorry, pun not intended) and couldn't decide whether to buy them in brown or black. I stood there for the longest time, considering my wardrobe and what would look good with the boots. I have some new brown slacks, so I eventually bought them in brown, and I wore them to school today.

After school I stopped in the same store and bought the same boots. In black. And a pink sweater with sequins on it. I am neither a pink girl nor a sequin girl, but there you have it. Perhaps I am trying to transform myself?

The good news is that once this binge is over, I am unlikely to buy any more clothes until the spring. Good thing...my credit card thinks a nuclear meltdown has occurred.

I'm Not Complaining, Really.....

This is going to sound like a complaint, or like I'm HOPING someone will say, "Oh, shut up already!"

But I promise that's not the case.

While my weight loss hasn't been as FAST (immediate? please?) as I would like, it has been steady for the most part. In our Team Lean competition, I have lost 7 pounds in 7 weeks. While I would like to lose TWO pounds per week, I realize that with almost-50-year-old metabolism, that ain't gonna happen. Apparently.

I've lost around 22 pounds since the school year began, and I'm just now entering that phase where clothes that used to be really tight are becoming too loose to wear. That includes some of my favorite slacks.

Like most women, I have a range of sizes in my closet. I would go through phases where I refused to buy anything larger than a certain size, even if I could only breathe in short bursts throughout the day and I had a red welt around my "waist" at the end of the day. Then I would go through a period of, "Oh hell, I'm never going to be any thinner, who am I kidding?" and buy the next size up. And sometimes THOSE got too tight, and I blamed it on the clothing manufacturers. Because it clearly had nothing to do with Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

I've worn a couple of pairs of slacks from the larger size this past week, and they are getting to the point of looking ludicrous on me. They aren't belted, so I just have to hope that I don't sneeze or cough while standing up, or that the school doesn't catch on fire, because any sudden movement might mean my slacks are suddenly pooled around my ankles.

I know, I know. Terrible problem to have.

But some of these are my FAVORITES. (I'm guessing they are my favorites because I finally bought the right size and they were the ones that didn't make me almost hyperventilate.) One of them is a pair of Ralph Lauren slacks with flared legs that I can wear with almost anything. They are my go-to slacks of choice for funerals and classroom observations. Those two things have a lot in common when it comes to how I feel about them. Another is a pair of black-and-white slacks that I can pair with a black tank and sweater set if I'm feeling more serious, or a white blouse if I've A) ironed it; and B) not brought a salad with Catalina dressing for lunch that day.

I realize I can have them altered, but I'm wondering at what point I should have them done. Now? I'm still about 20 pounds away from my goal weight (although the BMI charts say I will STILL be overweight). If I wait until then to get my favorites altered, what do I wear in the meantime? I don't want to go out and buy ALL new clothes, especially when I will only need my "teacher" clothes for another year. (Have I just told on myself? Does anyone else out there wear something for four or five years, particularly when you've paid $80 for it? Hello? Tap...tap.... **Crickets**)

I guess, since we're about to change seasons and wardrobes, that this problem is something I really don't have to worry about for a few months. Once warm weather arrives I wear mostly capris and knee-length shorts to school anyway, so the slacks will go in the back of the closet until fall. Which doesn't really begin here until November.

It's just like me to devote an entire blog post to something I don't have to worry about for another eight months. At least it takes my mind off this afternoon's gymnastics meet, senior day for our two seniors. (Sniff, sniff)

Hand Me Ups............

When I was young I wasn't one of those who had to "suffer" through wearing hand-me-downs. It had a lot to do with the fact that my sisters were SO MUCH OLDER than I was. (I could have resisted that cheap shot, but I chose not to. Sorry, sisters!) It had even more to do with the fact that one of them was tall and thin, and the other one was short and REALLY thin. (And I still love both of them. Imagine that.)

There was one exception, which has almost nothing to do with this blog post. When I became a cheerleader in the eighth grade, I dug out some old saddle shoes that Katydid wore when SHE was a cheerleader. They had cost Mom a fortune, but I guess in the end it was worth it, since we were cheerleaders about eight years apart and we both wore them. The "saddle" part of the shoes had been dyed blue, because our school colors were blue and white. Man, I wish I still had those shoes. I would so wear them to school now.

Having a daughter, however, has provided me with the opportunity to have hand-me-ups. I have inherited several articles of clothing after she stopped wearing them for one reason or another.

This is one of three pairs of jeans I acquired that way.

Sweet Girl shops almost exclusively at one of those hip teen-type mall stores. I'm afraid to go in there because not only am I too old for most of the clothes, the music drives me crazy.

I love the jeans, though. It may be because by the time I get them, they are broken in very well and they have the genuine faded look, not the one that some jeans pretend to have when you buy them brand new. They are soft and comfortable, and they make me think (briefly) that I COULD wear clothes meant for this younger generation if I were so inclined. I have one pair that I leave in the RV for weekend trips. They have a hole high up on the inside part of the thigh, so they aren't decent for wearing to school anymore. It's a very small hole, so they are fine for camping or for wearing around home, but I wouldn't want to wear them to school.

Sweet Girl has even given me a pair of jeans the next size DOWN for when I get there. I love her faith in me (among many other things).

I can see Sweet Girl rolling her eyes from 350 miles away when she sees the picture below.

I don't remember her buying this shirt, but it had to be when she was in the 8th or 9th grade. By the end of her 9th grade year, she was already over it. In fact, I had to go to an administrator and have him open her locker when school ended so I could retrieve this shirt.

I love the shirt because it's flannel, so it's very warm. It also zips up, which is a whole lot less aggravating than buttons. I usually wear it as a light jacket. It must remind me of a lumberjack, because back when Hubby and I used to go get our own firewood, I would wear this shirt. (Not that we chopped it or anything, but still. Now we have it delivered.) The shirt is very loose and comfortable, and it's soft and has that "used" feeling also. It SHOULD have that used feeling, since it's at least 10 years old.

I don't think Sweet Girl GAVE me the shoes below so much as she left them behind back when she used to come home for the weekend. (**Sniff, sniff**) They are genuine Navy-issue steel-toed boots that she had to wear on the flight deck, and I guess the flight line too when they are not at sea.

I haven't ever worn these boots, and I'm not sure why. There were a couple of occasions when I intended to send them to goodwill with my other clothing donations, but I never could bring myself to do it. For one thing, I was afraid they had some sort of secret military microchip and the Navy would come get me for discarding something they had paid for. Call me paranoid. I was also hesitant to get rid of them because they belonged to Sweet Girl. Call me sentimental.

I THINK she gave them to me because I needed some sturdy boots when I took my motorcycle safety course. I was afraid they wouldn't allow me to shift gears effectively, though, because the steel toe makes them so thick. I have allowed them to languish in my closet, and I had the idea that they were too small for me. I tried them on when I got them out for this post, though, and they fit perfectly. I will wear them the next time the weather is warm enough for me to ride the Harley.

It may seem silly, but I feel closer to my daughter when I wear these things. (And I hope by saying that I haven't guaranteed that she will NEVER give me another piece of hand-me-up clothing.) Keep 'em coming, Sweet Girl!

Unfortunately, while digging through my closet looking for the boots, I was faced with the grim reality of a sad necessity - The Great Shoe Purge. Sorry, Maggie! That will be a blog post sometime in the next few days.

Status Update.....

Lest all three of you think I've given up on my quest to lose weight and become more physically fit, I thought I would update you on the situation.

As of this morning, I have lost 15 pounds. That seems like a depressingly small number when I think back to the time when I first joined Weight Watchers. I lost almost 15 pounds in the first two weeks alone.

Then I remember that when I first joined Weight Watchers, I was just 32 years old instead of pushing 50.

I have stuck to my eating plan for the most part, but I have stopped logging in to the WW website (and paying them money every month for the privilege of entering the weight that I see on MY SCALE every Monday). I don't eat chocolate after lunch every day, and I don't miss it. Much.

I very rarely drink beer anymore, and I don't miss it. Much.

I'm trying to remind myself that losing weight is best done slowly, because the likelihood is greater that the weight will actually STAY off. I'm also trying to celebrate the small successes.

Today I wore these slacks to school.

They are very casual slacks, sort of like carpenter's pants with the pockets on the side. But they most assuredly CANNOT BE carpenter's pants because they are made by Ralph Lauren. They have little gold studs or brads on them, and they SNAP instead of button.

They snap.

That's why I haven't worn them in two years. I couldn't snap them. The last time I forced myself to wear these pants, I could just barely snap them, and I spent about sixteen hours out of my work day SNAPPING THEM OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I thought I had put these pants in the goodwill pile, because I fully intended to get rid of them. I didn't think I would ever be able to wear them again.

Today the only time I had to snap them was when I went to the bathroom.

TMI? Sorry.

I also wore this blouse today.

The make-up stain wasn't there when I wore it, though. I got that on there pulling it off over my head. Carefully, so as not to get make-up on it. It was also nicely ironed when I wore it, but apparently I curled up into a ball under my desk at some point during the day and got it all wrinkled.

The last time I wore this blouse my belly made it stick out and it looked like a maternity top. It didn't help matters that the fabric has a little stretch to it. Stretch it did.......alllllllllllllllllllll the way out there.

Today it actually hung like I think it was supposed to.

I'd like to lose 35 more pounds, but I'll settle for 25.

I've still got a long way to go. But any progress is good progress.

I may even find a whole new wardrobe in the back of my closet.

The Decline of Professionalism.....

I'm only speaking of my own professionalism here, not that of anyone else.

And I'm not really talking about professional behavior so much as dress. This occurred to me as I was dressing for school on Friday.

Friday has become jeans day for most high schools around here, except for one county where I used to work, where the former superintendent said that blue jeans were never acceptable.

Back when I first started teaching, I wore mostly dresses and skirts. And pantyhose. And relatively high heels. Not stilettos, mind you, but pumps. I don't think I EVER wore sandals. We were allowed to wear jeans on Fridays then too, as long as we wore school colors. The only thing I hated was that particular school's colors were red and gold. Yuck. I was embarrassed if I had to stop at the store on the way to school and I was wearing spirit wear. It looked like someone's color-blind mother was dressing me. And she was mad at me.

Sometimes I wore suits to school, and I didn't look out of place at all. I remember a couple in particular. One was a green plaid jacket and solid green skirt. My aunt gave me that suit, and I loved it. I wore it with a frilly white blouse and the obligatory pumps. On a shopping trip with my mother when she was feeling generous, I fell in love with a navy blue suede leather skirt and vest. I remember wearing that suit poolside one afternoon when I was coaching swimming. When I lost 50 pounds, I went through my rayon pantsuit phase. I had a navy blue one, a red one, and a gorgeous coral colored one. That was the one I was wearing one morning when our school was experiencing a rash of bomb threats and resultant evacuations (nine in two weeks; two in one day) and it started to pour rain. Bye-bye coral pantsuit.

I used to accessorize, too, mainly due to the influence of my ex-friend Angela. She shopped with me, advised me on what to wear, and had no qualms whatsoever about telling me that something I had on was tacky. I wore scarves with some outfits, pins with others. I remember one of my favorite dresses from that time period. It was red linen, with a tiny pleated panel at the bottom. It also had a black-and-white-polka-dotted ribbon between the pleated part and the skirt part. I found a pin of a clown riding a bicycle, and the clown's outfit was red and white polka dots. That's how much into matching my accessories I was back then.

At another high school, there was a lady who participated in the 3-day walk to raise money for breast cancer research. She was a breast cancer survivor herself, so the principal allowed anyone who donated money to her "buy" the privilege of wearing jeans. A certain amount bought you ten days of jeans on any day you wanted to wear them, a higher amount twenty days, and so forth. I donated the amount that would allow me to wear jeans any day of the week I wanted to, unlimited, for the whole school year. All I had to do was wear my pink ribbon that day to indicate that I had earned the privilege. Man, that was freedom. Having those random days when I just didn't feel like dressing up, just to be able to put on jeans and sneakers. I miss those days.

I have discarded every single dress and skirt in my closet, except for one denim skirt and a couple of dresses that I may (or may not) wear to formal night on a cruise. I haven't worn pantyhose since my friend's funeral six years ago (except to my teacher-of-the-year banquet), and I may never wear them again. Pantyhose are OF. THE. DEVIL.

I still try to dress somewhat professionally, though. I wear black slacks with a mock turtleneck or a shirt and jacket at least once a week. I have an awesome pair of sort-of-big-legged black-with-white-pinstripe Ralph Lauren pants that I would wear every day, but I try to limit them to about every other week. They are so comfortable, and they feel almost like heavy denim, so when I wear them I feel like I'm getting away with something. I have a pair of almost-but-not-quite herringbone slacks, a dark gray, a couple pairs of brown (all of which I hate and detest), and a couple of requisite khakis.

I'll be glad when spring is here, so I can go back to wearing capris. Please, God, don't ever let capris and crop pants go out of style. I have a much larger selection of those than I do slacks in my closet. And as long as you pair them with something mostly professional looking (as opposed to, say, a t-shirt), at our school we can get away with capris, crop pants, or walking shorts. I'm getting too old to wear shorts above the knee, however. Damn it.

I need to go through my dresser drawers and throw away all those pantyhose (and some tights) that I've had for years. If an occasion arises on which I MUST wear pantyhose, I will fake a coma or something. I also need to purge my shoes, but that's for another post.

Un-Goals for the New School Year

With the start of every new school year, I usually think of all the things I will do differently this year to make my job, my life, my everything better and more efficient. But this is my 23rd (!) year of teaching, and I realize it ain't likely to happen. (I'm an English teacher, so I have a free pass to use the word "ain't" every now and then. Look it up in the English Teacher's Code.)

Here, then, are my un-goals for this school year, things that I know will not change significantly.

1. Clean Desk - This will never happen. I won't even have the cleanest teacher's desk in my room. Students will occasionally volunteer to help my clear off my desk and make things neat and tidy, and I will allow them to do so. Then my desk will be back to its cluttered chaos within a few hours. That's just me. All the file folders, organizers, stacky things, and desk dividers will not help. Having a messy desk doesn't affect my teaching, so I have given myself permission not to stress about it.
   
2. Homemade Lunches - Although I will probably take my lunch to school more than not, I am wise enough to realize that there are going to be days when I just don't feel like making a lunch. I'll be up so late one night (or two or ten) working on my "part-time" online teaching job that I don't take the time to prepare anything. Or I'll be out of town for the weekend (probably on a bicycle ride, or a motorcycle ride) and I won't get home in time (or have enough energy) to go to the grocery store. Or hubby will be out of town and I will be on kitchen strike even more than I am when he is IN town. Or they'll be serving vegetable soup and PB J at school, which I find irresistible. I won't beat myself up if I occasionally eat a school lunch or order something.
3. Exercise - While we will continue our routine of walking in the park 3-4 times a week, and I will occasionally ride my bike on the weekends, and I will use the treadmill from time to time, I know that exercising every single day will not happen. Bad weather, lack of energy, hectic schedule, family obligations, and occasional social events will dictate that I skip a day of exercise every now and then. It will not be the deciding factor that kills my chances of being the world's next supermodel, and it won't make me a bad person.
   
4. Housework - We will always have clean clothes to wear, and we will always have something (mostly) nutritious to eat, and the dishes will (usually) be washed, and the bed will be made every day, and the health inspector won't find enough evidence to condemn our house, but I will not aspire to be June Cleaver. Furniture will be dusty, dog toys will be scattered in the living room, and the kitchen table will continue to accumulate a lot of the junk that makes its way into our house every day. Hubby doesn't think having a spotless house is required to be a good person/wife (although my mother DOES, but she hates animals and won't visit our house anyway), so I won't feel like a failure if my house is sometimes a little messy.
   
5. School Clothes - Although I would like to look like a fashion model, that isn't likely to happen either. There will be days when I dress for comfort and won't look as professional as I could. There will be days when I spend an extra 10 minutes emailing in the morning and don't save enough time to iron something. (And I will never iron a week's worth of clothes on the weekend, no matter how many times I say it.) I will occasionally have to resort to something that a) is clean; b) fits; c) I haven't already worn that week; and d) doesn't need to be ironed. It will not make me a less effective teacher if I am not wearing the absolute latest fashion.
   
6. Dinner - We will not have a home cooked meal with a lean meat, a green vegetable, and a starch every single night. For the same reasons that I won't always have time to exercise or prepare a healthy lunch, there will be nights that we are forced to order a pizza or run out for a burger or get by with a sandwich. We definitely won't starve to death.
   
7. Money - I will not suddenly become frugal and completely sensible about spending. I will occasionally splurge on something I don't need, I will sometimes waste money needlessly (whether intentionally or unintentionally), and I may hold my breath until payday rolls around again. But the bills will be paid, I will continue to contribute to ALL of our savings accounts, and we won't have to sacrifice necessities. Especially if we win the lottery (see wasting money, above).
8. Reading - I will not limit myself to only quality literature. I will occasionally resort to reading something strictly for entertainment or relaxation, not to elicit deep thought and reflection. I may even "waste" time in such pursuits when I could be cleaning the house or ironing clothes (see #4 and #5 above).
   

Okay, now I feel completely ready for the new school year. And I have no idea what I'm wearing tomorrow.