Twit(ter) That I Am.........

I have read with great curiosity (mostly in Sports Illustrated because that's about the only magazine I read these days) some of the things people post on Twitter. I have not given into the Twitter craze (yet) because I honestly can't figure out what the big deal is. I'm already a Facebook failure; I don't need something else that I do but don't know why.

What, pray tell, is the point of Twitter? Is it a duplication of what people put on Facebook? Do these people really have countless hours of time to spend letting other people know what they are doing? It's obvious what they're doing - They are twittering and facebooking!

Yes, I know it's called tweeting. I even refuse to learn the terminology. Or at least use it correctly.

And how does the whole "following" thing even work? Does someone have to be on the computer to get my twitteritions? Or would my followers (if I had any) get emails letting them know that ..... GASP! .... Bragger has gone to the vending machine!???? I can just see my friend Neena, in the middle of her prospectus defense next Monday (please send up a little prayer for her), telling her doctoral committee, "I'm so sorry for the interruption, but my friend Bragger just twitted that she's almost finished reading my prospectus."

It's not like I'm important enough for anyone (except for possibly my sisters, God bless them) to care about what I'm doing at any given moment of the day. I'm not Pioneer Woman, after all. Or an athlete. Or a movie star. I'm not even the most important teacher on our staff, and there are only 5 of us. So who would care?

If I were on Twitter (which I'm not), here are some of the things I would have twittered today:

@Bragger: Ugh.....Hearing the alarm go off at 6:00 on a Saturday is so not cool.

@Bragger: Of COURSE the grocery store is out of the canned chicken with the dollar off coupon.

@Bragger: I just folded a king-sized fitted sheet all by myself.

@Bragger:  I'm graduating from Mario Brothers and moving on to Zelda on the Wii.

@Bragger: I'm too retarded to play Zelda on the Wii.

@Bragger: Why do I even have to clean a shower? I get in it EVERY DAY for the sole purpose of getting clean.

@Bragger: Is it rude to wish my sister-in-law would drown in my pool?

@Bragger:  My college football addiction is getting serious. I'm watching the replay of a UGA game from 2005. I know, right? At least this time I don't have to watch commercials. (I'm pretty sure this one went over the 140-character limit. Let me check......Yep, it was 168. Another reason I'm not on Twitter.)


@Bragger: Why will NBC show ten minutes of them putting R. Bross in a wheelchair and not show a replay of how she hurt her knee?

@Bragger: Go ahead, all you hot shot gymnasts, sign with Florida. Just how many of you do you think can compete on any given night?

@Bragger: I have officially stopped saying, "Tell me again why the Braves got Dan Uggla." Two homers again tonight.

@Bragger: I hope no one saw me fall down the embankment when I was using the push mower.

@Bragger: Housework becomes almost enjoyable with Billy Joel music blasting. Today it was the Storm Front CD. I don't think there's a bad track on the whole CD. (Crap. That one's over the limit too.)

@Bragger: Hubby has done well at the casino. This time.

@Bragger: Yum. Chicken salad with Miracle Whip instead of mayo. Because Hubby is out of town at the casino.

 @Bragger: Is it really necessary for Shawn Johnson to be THAT cute?


@Bragger: I hate it when my DOG tells me it's time to go to bed.
 
There. Would you seriously "follow" such drivel? I mean, on purpose? I realize I just tricked you into reading it here. And for that I (almost) sincerely apologize.