Friday, January 22, 2010

Excuses, Excuses.....

Tonight's blog entry is actually a guest post. She didn't mean to be a guest post, but I have laughed so hard over this email today that I decided to post it. It is from a student in my online course. [She gave me her permission. Not that it probably matters to any of you, but I do have SOME ethics. Okay, one. Ethic.] Keep in mind that I'm usually a hard-nose when it comes to excuses, and the virtual school has very strict penalties for submitting assignments past the due date. Although their course schedules are structured with daily assignments, they actually have until Friday at 5:00 PM to turn in work for the entire week. [I used to extend the deadline until midnight on Sunday night, but I learned in a hurry not to do THAT.]

Before I got this email, I had already sent this student a text message that she was missing 3 assignments and her grade had dropped. I'm sure she was thinking, "Oh great. What next?" The "Amber" she references in her email is a girl who goes to her high school and is also in the online course with her.

You're an experienced teacher so I know that you don't want to hear excuses. I just wanted to inform you before hand that it's going to be impossible for me to turn in the rest of my work on time for this week.

My Excuse (because, of course I have to give it.)

I worked after school for an hour on this class and then had to take my sister home. I finished reading The Piano Lesson and then sat down at my home computer to cram in at least one assignment before I had to rush off. (Did I mention that my battery on my car was dead when I went out after school and Amber had to jump me off? Yeah. That happened.) Well, when I sat down to work at home my internet just... failed. Epically. It was like my firewall turned into Pat from that 90s movie, Smart House, and just blocked me from even opening up the internet. For my own good, I suppose. Ok, that was a pretty devastating blow but I was bound and determined to be optimistic. So, since I had rehearsal coming up I grabbed my stuff and went for my car.

My car that was gone.

My mother had stolen my car. Can I report grand theft auto when my mother takes it to Walmart and I have two rehearsals to attend and a book to return to a friend? I figured I couldn't because 1) it would take too much time and 2) she pays my insurance. Anyway, I called my mom. She decided she would return my car to me since I had bought her coffee creamer out of the goodness of my heart earlier. I get my car twenty minutes later. I'm too late to go to Mock Trial practice. Whatever, moving on. I race to Amber's house (managing to get lost twice and stuck behind every maw maw in the county) and return her copy of The Piano Lesson. (That's another thing I forgot to mention. Amber bought the last copy from Barnes and Noble. We have one copy between us.) Then I got stuck in her driveway.

This is all true. I can't make this stuff up.

Once I free myself, I rush off to my My Fair Lady rehearsal in Rome (forty-five minutes away.) We're doing our first full run-through. Great. I sit there for two and a half hours and sing twice. Rehearsal went over half an hour too long. Thinking I could still make something positive out of the night I rushed to Barnes and Noble to buy my copy of The Road before Amber can snatch it away. (haha, just kidding... but really.) I get there. It's 9:58. I can make it! I run up to the door.

Some guy with a handlebar mustache beats me and locks it first.

I give up. This night is a fail. I buy a caramel macchiatto instead and taken my defeated tail-end home. Since I stop to check my schedule for the McJob first, it was around eleven before I got home. My internet still obstinately refuses to work. I stayed up until one making plans with a friend on Haiti benefit concerts we're doing and then I fell into an exhausted rest.

To top it off, I've got a measely three hour shift tonight from five to eight. When I return home I plan either turning my computer into a flowerpot or a litter box or, in the instance that my step-dad fixed it, sitting down and working until I have finished at least, this week's course load and then, some of next week's.

So, while I'm asking for a midnight extension for my work, I'm not expecting it. I would just like you to note the ridiculous night I had (a few more minor, but still unimaginably annoying, events I have left out) and, if it doesn't entice you to give me an extension, I hope you still got a chuckle or two out of it.

Thank you so much for you time,

How could I NOT give her an extension? I was prepared to give her an "A" for the course on the spot.


Maggie said...

This is the greatest email ever. She deserves an A for the course... hell, just graduate her NOW. Wow...

Evil Pixie said...

Hahaha! That email is EPIC! I've been teaching online classes since 2004, and I've heard all the excuses but this one is the best by far. I would have given her the extension just for that email. :)