Thursday, November 25, 2010

Men vs Women at the Doctor's Office.......

I had to go to the doctor this past week for a minor .... procedure. I will spare you the details, but it involves birth control, NOT having a certain monthly visitor, and only having to worry about it every five years.

As I got ready to go to the doctor's office, I realized that men and women have vastly different methods of preparation.

Women:

Diet for two days before the visit, because clearly that's all it will take to make a huge difference on the scale
Take a shower
Shave legs
Consider a pedicure
Worry that any residual irritation from a 50-mile bike ride is going to look suspect
Wonder if you should address said irritation
Look through closet for lightest-weight slacks
Iron slacks, because they are made of gauze lightweight cotton and wrinkle easily
Search for lightweight top that does NOT have to be ironed
Debate wearing a Spanx-type undergarment to smooth out (some of) the bulges
Discard idea of wearing Spanx-type undergarment because it might weigh a few ounces
Apply make-up
"Fix" hair
Look for shoes that can be slipped off easily at the scale
Wear sandals in November
Leave home 45 minutes before your appointment
Leave doctor's office after appointment irritated because they didn't even ask you to step on the scale

Men:

Take a shower
Put on jeans and any golf shirt
Wear heavy sneakers because you aren't even going to bother taking them off at the scale
Leave home 10 minutes before your appointment
Leave doctor's office after appointment unaware of whether they weighed you or not

3 comments:

Neena said...

oh the truth you speak!

Maggie said...

Ain't that the truth, sister!

DJan said...

I am always weighed at the doctor's office even if I show up for a flu shot! I also wear slip-on shoes and take all the stuff in my pockets out and stick them in my shoes before stepping on the scales. Can't help it, can we??