Saturday, June 13, 2009

In On the Joke......

Sometimes (a lot of the time, actually), baseball announcers get on my nerves. Not only do they use improper grammar, like saying, "So-and-so was telling Joe and I in the elevator the other day....." ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH........, but sometimes (a lot of the time, actually), they go off on tangents, running on and on about nothing and not letting the viewers in on whatever they're talking about. Sometimes (a lot of the time, actually), you can tell they might be talking about something slightly risque, but they can't tell what it is because that would be unprofessional. However, they continue to snicker in the background, and sometimes (a lot of the time, actually) they start laughing so hard they almost can't continue whatever they're trying to say.

Tonight, however, I am on to them. Since Hubby is out of town, I was able to stay up and watch an ENTIRE baseball game last night, and I know what they're talking about. It's SO risque that they couldn't really even allude to it last night when it happened, but I knew immediately that they were ribbing each other in the booth.

Joe Simpson said something last night after this incident that he needed to practice on the telestrator, or whatever they call that thing where they appear to be writing on the television screen. Or perhaps the other dude (Boog somebody, whatever the hell that kind of name is supposed to be) suggested he needed to practice.

Tonight Joe immediately started talking about how he got to the ballpark early tonight just to practice with the telestrator. They started laughing, and instead of being ticked off because I didn't know what they were talking about, I felt smug, not only because I was in on the joke, but because it turned out to be EXACTLY what I thought it was last night. Only they still can't talk about it.

The Braves are playing the Orioles at Camden Yards (I hate interleague play, but that has nothing to do with this topic). Apparently a high-rise building has been built out beyond the outfield, and it blocks out a clock tower that used to be visible from the ballpark. During last night's game, Joe was saying how you used to be able to look out there and see what time it was, and he started drawing in the tower where it used to be visible. Only his clock tower looked exactly like a......................................................penis.

They were still laughing about it when tonight's game started. When it came time for Joe to show off how he had improved since last night, he (or some producer person) inserted a PHOTOGRAPH of the old clock tower out there in the outfield.

I realize this would be much more relevant (well, maybe not) and humorous if I actually had a picture of the picture.

I have realized that I use the word "actually" way too much, and I apologize. I'll stop immediately. Well actually, I'll stop starting tomorrow.

I have also realized that I use the word "realize" way too much.


Another T9 story from my friend W the WP. She's at her son's baseball game, and she was texting a mother who is not there but whose son is playing. Her oh-so-intelligent phone, programmed to predict from keystrokes what the intended word is, told this mother, "[Your teenage son] is up to nuts."

I'll leave it to you to figure out what she really meant to say.

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