Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Making Light.....

First of all, I have to apologize. In this blog post I'm making light of something that shouldn't be funny at all. Good thing my mother-in-law is a good sport about it.

She and I have spent a great deal of quality time together in the car lately, shuttling from doctor's appointment to doctor's appointment. Each one apparently leads to yet another specialist, and after three trips each one refers us to a new one, getting progressively closer and closer to downtown Atlanta.

This morning's appointment was at 7:00 AM. In Atlanta. I got up at 4:30, and we almost made it on time. We were in the parking deck at 7:00 AM, so that should count.

She was having an MRI today (she has a growth/tumor in the roof of her mouth, for Pete's sake, rendering her unable to wear her dentures, and when they did a CT scan, they saw something "they didn't like"). I realize the first word in the acronym for MRI is "magnetic," and the reason they have to ask these questions is obvious.

They're still funny.

Most of them I simply checked off myself, but every now and then I stopped and asked my mother-in-law, pretending to be serious.

"Any type of prosthesis (eye, limb, PENILE, etc.)?" I'm not sure I even want to know what a penile prosthesis is. Or does. 

"Do you have a bone growth/bone fusion stimulator?" Huh?

"Eye injury involving a metallic object?" Wouldn't they NOTICE a spoon sticking out of her cornea?

"Injury involving a metallic object (bullet or shrapnel, etc.)?" Yeah, we were just on our way to get that taken care of, but we stopped off here for an MRI first.

"Eyelid spring or wire?" Seriously? People HAVE those? Like that strange illness Hubby's uncle had where he couldn't open his eyes? Maybe he needed an eyelid spring.

"Any metallic fragment or foreign body?" Is this a trick question to make sure she answered the bullet question correctly the first time?

"Tissue expander (e.g. breast)?" No, that's not a tissue expander, it's called gravity.

"Intrauterine Device (IUD) or diaphragm?" She's 83 freakin' years old, for crying out loud!

It's possible ... not likely, but possible ... that these were only funny to me because I was/am sleep-deprived.

It ain't gonna get any better tomorrow, when I fully expect to get up at the crack of dawn to watch The Open Championship (formerly known as The British Open and I can't get out of the habit but wanted to be precise here). That's golf, y'all. Coverage starts at 4:30. Well, maybe I won't get up THAT early.


Maggie said...

I got the giggles just as read the questions, too. I am so terrible about taking things like that seriously. My sense of humor is sometimes grossly inappropriate... as is, sometimes, apparently, yours! haha! Which is why i love ya!

DJan said...

Assuming you answered all the questions in the negative, did she finally get an MRI? Sheesh! :-)