I'm so glad these aren't the good old days, when I would have been at a party until way after midnight, drinking too much and ringing in the New Year. Witnessing at least one fight between rednecks (or possibly their women) and at least one marital squabble. On one such occasion I drank an entire bottle of peach Schnapps all by myself, and I had to play the piano in church the next morning. I kept getting up during the service to go throw up. I was afraid the last song was going to have to be sung a capella. (Luckily it was a Presbyterian church, and they neither asked me to resign nor held an intervention in which I had to publicly confess my sins.) I am mortified when I look back on that now.
Thankfully, those days existed in a previous wifetime, and I much prefer the more laid-back lifestyle hubby and I have now. It could be the fact that we CANNOT STAY AWAKE until midnight. In our eleven years of marriage we have never been awake to ring in the New Year (hubby says he doesn't think he's EVER stayed up until midnight on New Year's Eve, but I just reminded him of the year before we married and we stayed at the Blue Rose Lounge* and the band counted down the seconds until midnight), and it has so far gone on quite blissfully unaware of our absence. It will be so again tonight. Hubby has to work tomorrow (on his BIRTHDAY, no less), so staying up until midnight is out of the question. We will be awakened briefly by the neighbors and their fireworks (they've already been practicing), but we'll probably abide by our standard 8:30 bedtime.
Waking up on January 1st from a good night's sleep WITHOUT a hangover is the happiest way I can think of to start off the New Year.
However you celebrate it, HAPPY NEW YEAR, y'all!!!!
-------------------
*The former Blue Rose Lounge is now a tire store. That should give you some indication of the classiness of the place.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Dear Parents.....
Dear Parents:
Some of you have raised the question of what's wrong with young people today. It's not your PARTICULAR young people you're questioning as a rule; it's always everyone else's. As we head toward the close of another year, I am offering my theory as to what's wrong with young people. It's their parents. More specifically, it's the fact that their parents have lied to them from birth. I am taking it upon myself to address those falsehoods in the misguided notion that perhaps next year will be a better one for you and your little darlings.
Parent Lie #5: "It doesn't matter what anyone thinks of you." I'm sorry, but that's crap. It matters a great deal what a lot of people think of all of us. If you continue to encourage your children to be "individuals" to the point that they are completely comfortable exhibiting their snotty attitudes to anyone with whom they come into contact, please expect to support them indefinitely. It matters what their teachers think of them. It matters what law enforcement officials think of them. It matters what their employers (if they are lucky enough to get a job and actually keep it) think of them. I have had two teenagers, one male one female, shrug at me recently and tell me, "Oh well, that's just who I am." Parents, that's your fault. Children are not born with lousy attitudes; they are taught them. If that's "just who they are," they need to change who they are. Quickly.
Parent Lie #4"You don't have to take any s**t from anyone." How are you going to feel, parents (if you haven't already experienced it), when your little darling decides he/she doesn't have to take any s**t from YOU? Are you gonna punch him or her in the mouth? Or are you going to look in the mirror and say, "Hmmmm, maybe that wasn't such a smart thing to teach him/her"? No one lives in a vacuum or in isolation. If your children intend to hold jobs, go to school, or otherwise interact in society in any meaningful way, they need to expect that occasionally they ARE GOING TO HAVE TO "take some s**t." Especially since some of the young people with whom I have come into contact think that "taking some s**t" means hearing anything negative, critical, or otherwise what they don't want to hear. It doesn't matter how high they rise or how low they sink, there will come many times when they are disappointed, screwed, let down, cheated, or otherwise handed some s**t. Teach them, please, how to deal with it.
Parent Lie #3: "If you wrong someone, as long as you say you're sorry, everything will be fine." Well, maybe in a perfect world. But this ain't a perfect world, and the people your little darlings will have to deal with are imperfect human beings. We try to forgive and forget, but sometimes it simply isn't possible. Sometimes relationships get damaged irreparably. Instead of teaching your children to say "I'm sorry," how about teaching them to THINK before they speak/act, possibly AVOIDING some of the situations for which they are forced to apologize? If I hit one of them with my car (by accident, of course), I will be sure to apologize. But I'll bet those broken bones will still hurt. And suing me will only make them have more money; it will not make them feel better about their broken bones.
Parent Lie #2: "We only want you to be happy." Wrong again. First of all, your little darlings for the most part are incapable of distinguishing happiness from satisfaction. In their world of instant gratification (ahem, created by YOU, I might add), they have come to equate happiness with getting their way. Stop telling them "we only want you to be happy." What we want is for them to be productive, charitable, educable, interested, interesting, busy, socially acceptable, inspired, inspiring, and ambitious. If doing all that brings them happiness, terrific. If not, well at least maybe they'll leave the world a better place.
And Parent Lie #1: "You can be anything you want to be." Uh.....no. There are some things out there that they just CAN'T BE. Your little ballerina will probably not be an NFL player. Or even a prima donna with a major ballet company. There's just too much competition out there. Wanting it is not enough, and some of the young people I've encountered seem to think that ALL they have to do is want it. We regularly interview students for our program who want to be lawyers or doctors. (Occasionally we get one who either wants to be a pediatrician or a hair stylist.) And they're reading on an eighth grade level with a "C" average and are 8 credits behind where they should be to be on track for graduation. I don't mean they shouldn't dream. But along with those dreams, they should be prepared to work like a dog, study harder than anyone else, put forth extreme effort even when rewards are not immediately forthcoming, and accept that there is only so much room at the top. Not only does the good guy not always win, but two identically good guys cannot share the same space at the same time. That's just the way life works. Teach them to deal with it and have a Plan B. Teach them that they MAY be able to be anything they're willing to scrap for, sacrifice for, and compete tooth and nail for. But they may have to alter their wants a little and be willing to settle for less than what they originally wanted. Above all else, please teach them that the positive effects they have on the lives of others are way more important than their bank balances. If they even know what those are.
Sincerely,
Bragger
P.S. I acknowledge this is a strange post to write in my second week of freedom from the little darlings you send to me during the school year. I've been stewing about it for a couple of months.
Some of you have raised the question of what's wrong with young people today. It's not your PARTICULAR young people you're questioning as a rule; it's always everyone else's. As we head toward the close of another year, I am offering my theory as to what's wrong with young people. It's their parents. More specifically, it's the fact that their parents have lied to them from birth. I am taking it upon myself to address those falsehoods in the misguided notion that perhaps next year will be a better one for you and your little darlings.
Parent Lie #5: "It doesn't matter what anyone thinks of you." I'm sorry, but that's crap. It matters a great deal what a lot of people think of all of us. If you continue to encourage your children to be "individuals" to the point that they are completely comfortable exhibiting their snotty attitudes to anyone with whom they come into contact, please expect to support them indefinitely. It matters what their teachers think of them. It matters what law enforcement officials think of them. It matters what their employers (if they are lucky enough to get a job and actually keep it) think of them. I have had two teenagers, one male one female, shrug at me recently and tell me, "Oh well, that's just who I am." Parents, that's your fault. Children are not born with lousy attitudes; they are taught them. If that's "just who they are," they need to change who they are. Quickly.
Parent Lie #4"You don't have to take any s**t from anyone." How are you going to feel, parents (if you haven't already experienced it), when your little darling decides he/she doesn't have to take any s**t from YOU? Are you gonna punch him or her in the mouth? Or are you going to look in the mirror and say, "Hmmmm, maybe that wasn't such a smart thing to teach him/her"? No one lives in a vacuum or in isolation. If your children intend to hold jobs, go to school, or otherwise interact in society in any meaningful way, they need to expect that occasionally they ARE GOING TO HAVE TO "take some s**t." Especially since some of the young people with whom I have come into contact think that "taking some s**t" means hearing anything negative, critical, or otherwise what they don't want to hear. It doesn't matter how high they rise or how low they sink, there will come many times when they are disappointed, screwed, let down, cheated, or otherwise handed some s**t. Teach them, please, how to deal with it.
Parent Lie #3: "If you wrong someone, as long as you say you're sorry, everything will be fine." Well, maybe in a perfect world. But this ain't a perfect world, and the people your little darlings will have to deal with are imperfect human beings. We try to forgive and forget, but sometimes it simply isn't possible. Sometimes relationships get damaged irreparably. Instead of teaching your children to say "I'm sorry," how about teaching them to THINK before they speak/act, possibly AVOIDING some of the situations for which they are forced to apologize? If I hit one of them with my car (by accident, of course), I will be sure to apologize. But I'll bet those broken bones will still hurt. And suing me will only make them have more money; it will not make them feel better about their broken bones.
Parent Lie #2: "We only want you to be happy." Wrong again. First of all, your little darlings for the most part are incapable of distinguishing happiness from satisfaction. In their world of instant gratification (ahem, created by YOU, I might add), they have come to equate happiness with getting their way. Stop telling them "we only want you to be happy." What we want is for them to be productive, charitable, educable, interested, interesting, busy, socially acceptable, inspired, inspiring, and ambitious. If doing all that brings them happiness, terrific. If not, well at least maybe they'll leave the world a better place.
And Parent Lie #1: "You can be anything you want to be." Uh.....no. There are some things out there that they just CAN'T BE. Your little ballerina will probably not be an NFL player. Or even a prima donna with a major ballet company. There's just too much competition out there. Wanting it is not enough, and some of the young people I've encountered seem to think that ALL they have to do is want it. We regularly interview students for our program who want to be lawyers or doctors. (Occasionally we get one who either wants to be a pediatrician or a hair stylist.) And they're reading on an eighth grade level with a "C" average and are 8 credits behind where they should be to be on track for graduation. I don't mean they shouldn't dream. But along with those dreams, they should be prepared to work like a dog, study harder than anyone else, put forth extreme effort even when rewards are not immediately forthcoming, and accept that there is only so much room at the top. Not only does the good guy not always win, but two identically good guys cannot share the same space at the same time. That's just the way life works. Teach them to deal with it and have a Plan B. Teach them that they MAY be able to be anything they're willing to scrap for, sacrifice for, and compete tooth and nail for. But they may have to alter their wants a little and be willing to settle for less than what they originally wanted. Above all else, please teach them that the positive effects they have on the lives of others are way more important than their bank balances. If they even know what those are.
Sincerely,
Bragger
P.S. I acknowledge this is a strange post to write in my second week of freedom from the little darlings you send to me during the school year. I've been stewing about it for a couple of months.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Reality Check....
Sometimes, when we're least expecting it, life just reaches up and smacks us with a reality check. We can always use it, and we're usually desperately in need of it. I just wish it didn't have to make me sad at the same time.
Here I've been sitting and waiting on a very expensive toy that is meant for children and for which I paid even more than it is worth because I bought it on eBay. I'm too impatient to wait until the stores might actually have it in stock again. I've checked the tracking number roughly every seven minutes just in case it's sitting right outside on my front porch and I didn't notice it. I've been obsessed with getting it.
Then today I learned that a co-worker's 11-year-old step-daughter died on Friday. As in the day after Christmas. Eleven years old. She apparently developed flu-like symptoms and spiked a fever. They rushed her to the hospital, and she died within an hour. I don't know her step-father well; he works in the other side of our building. But I cannot even conceive of how their hearts must be breaking. I don't know how a parent buries a child and goes on living himself or herself.
I need to remember what's important. And I need to drive to Jacksonville and hug my daughter.
Here I've been sitting and waiting on a very expensive toy that is meant for children and for which I paid even more than it is worth because I bought it on eBay. I'm too impatient to wait until the stores might actually have it in stock again. I've checked the tracking number roughly every seven minutes just in case it's sitting right outside on my front porch and I didn't notice it. I've been obsessed with getting it.
Then today I learned that a co-worker's 11-year-old step-daughter died on Friday. As in the day after Christmas. Eleven years old. She apparently developed flu-like symptoms and spiked a fever. They rushed her to the hospital, and she died within an hour. I don't know her step-father well; he works in the other side of our building. But I cannot even conceive of how their hearts must be breaking. I don't know how a parent buries a child and goes on living himself or herself.
I need to remember what's important. And I need to drive to Jacksonville and hug my daughter.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Technology Exhausts Me.....
I have spent the better part of three hours...... count 'em, three hours..... this evening setting up our new printer/copier/scanner/fax machine. I mentioned casually to hubby last week that we would need a new printer soon, and he saw one on sale in this morning's paper. When he pointed it out to me, I took that as a directive to go out and purchase it. He may not have meant it as such, but I wasn't taking any chances when it came to a new piece of technology.
Following the directions on setting up something as simple as a printer shouldn't be that difficult. These particular directions were written in English by someone who apparently had a relatively firm grasp on the rules of syntax and grammar. But I invariably either skip an important step or I don't understand something that should be crystal clear. Tonight it involved installing the print head and the roughly 7 different colored ink cartridges. (I forgot to check for that before I bought this model. Bummer.) The print head was a plastic compartment that had to be installed before the ink cartridges could be installed. "Push the Print Head to hold it in place, and lower the Print Head Lock Lever." (No idea why those words were capitalized. I mean, I know they were important, but that would mean capitalizing about every third word.)
I am relatively intelligent. Words (used correctly) tend to make sense to me. I can follow directions. The pictures, on the other hand, often leave me drooling in my soup. There was a photo of what was apparently the Print Head with a large portion circled, and the words "Do not touch" out to the side. Only it was difficult to ascertain exactly what was not to be touched. I tried to avoid touching all parts of it, but that was hard to do when I needed to both push it and hold it in place. There I was with the printer cover open, wires everywhere from the dozen or so items we have hooked up to our network, a flashlight with a dying battery held between my chin and shoulder, and sweat dripping from my nose. I tried nine times (or nineteen, I'm not sure) to "Push the Print Head to hold it in place, and lower the Print Head Lock Lever." It wouldn't stay locked, and the ink cartridges wouldn't go into their places.
Then I glanced at the picture again. Seems the Print Head works best if you aren't trying to install it UPSIDE DOWN. That makes me really paranoid, because if I was holding it the wrong way, chances are I touched the DO NOT TOUCH part as well.
Then I got to the ethernet cord part. My old printer didn't require an ethernet cord because it went through a router and a modem, so I assumed this one wouldn't need one either. Even when the directions told me to plug it in. I didn't HAVE an extra ethernet cable lying around, so when it got to that part, I just lied and said it was already plugged in and clicked "Next." Like the computer wouldn't figure THAT out. (I said RELATIVELY intelligent.) I tried it more than once. You don't know how it hurts my heart and soul to admit that.
But I don't give up easily. And the computer, naturally, doesn't give up AT ALL. After a trip to the nearest Wal-Mart for the required ethernet cord, I managed to finish the installation process and have successfully printed and copied. Tomorrow I will attempt the fax feature.
And none of this is what I intended to spend my money and free time on, which was a Christmas gift to myself. What I went to six stores in search of today doesn't exist anywhere in the free world. Except on eBay. Where you can get it for a mere $150 more than it costs in the store. Mine will be shipped tomorrow.
When it gets here, and I can do so without hiding my face in shame, I'll tell you what it is.
Following the directions on setting up something as simple as a printer shouldn't be that difficult. These particular directions were written in English by someone who apparently had a relatively firm grasp on the rules of syntax and grammar. But I invariably either skip an important step or I don't understand something that should be crystal clear. Tonight it involved installing the print head and the roughly 7 different colored ink cartridges. (I forgot to check for that before I bought this model. Bummer.) The print head was a plastic compartment that had to be installed before the ink cartridges could be installed. "Push the Print Head to hold it in place, and lower the Print Head Lock Lever." (No idea why those words were capitalized. I mean, I know they were important, but that would mean capitalizing about every third word.)
I am relatively intelligent. Words (used correctly) tend to make sense to me. I can follow directions. The pictures, on the other hand, often leave me drooling in my soup. There was a photo of what was apparently the Print Head with a large portion circled, and the words "Do not touch" out to the side. Only it was difficult to ascertain exactly what was not to be touched. I tried to avoid touching all parts of it, but that was hard to do when I needed to both push it and hold it in place. There I was with the printer cover open, wires everywhere from the dozen or so items we have hooked up to our network, a flashlight with a dying battery held between my chin and shoulder, and sweat dripping from my nose. I tried nine times (or nineteen, I'm not sure) to "Push the Print Head to hold it in place, and lower the Print Head Lock Lever." It wouldn't stay locked, and the ink cartridges wouldn't go into their places.
Then I glanced at the picture again. Seems the Print Head works best if you aren't trying to install it UPSIDE DOWN. That makes me really paranoid, because if I was holding it the wrong way, chances are I touched the DO NOT TOUCH part as well.
Then I got to the ethernet cord part. My old printer didn't require an ethernet cord because it went through a router and a modem, so I assumed this one wouldn't need one either. Even when the directions told me to plug it in. I didn't HAVE an extra ethernet cable lying around, so when it got to that part, I just lied and said it was already plugged in and clicked "Next." Like the computer wouldn't figure THAT out. (I said RELATIVELY intelligent.) I tried it more than once. You don't know how it hurts my heart and soul to admit that.
But I don't give up easily. And the computer, naturally, doesn't give up AT ALL. After a trip to the nearest Wal-Mart for the required ethernet cord, I managed to finish the installation process and have successfully printed and copied. Tomorrow I will attempt the fax feature.
And none of this is what I intended to spend my money and free time on, which was a Christmas gift to myself. What I went to six stores in search of today doesn't exist anywhere in the free world. Except on eBay. Where you can get it for a mere $150 more than it costs in the store. Mine will be shipped tomorrow.
When it gets here, and I can do so without hiding my face in shame, I'll tell you what it is.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Happy Post-Holidays...
I think I actually prefer this time of the holiday season better than the days leading up to it. Christmas is behind us, there are lots of college football games on television, and I have a whole extra week before I have to go back to school. Yay!
Normally I take the tree down the day after Christmas, but since we were gone this year I still have that chore to do. But it won't be bad, especially since I didn't even put out the rest of the decorations.
We don't do anything special for New Year's Eve, and we're usually in bed by our customary 8:30. Hubby almost always has to work on New Year's Day, even though it's his birthday, for crying out loud, so we don't do the party scene. So far every year has rolled in nicely without us, including the year everyone was scared to death that the world's computers were going to crash, and life as we knew it would come to an end.
I should have lots of "me" time, and I intend to use it enjoying the present that I'm going to go out and buy for myself. Shhhhhhh..........
Normally I take the tree down the day after Christmas, but since we were gone this year I still have that chore to do. But it won't be bad, especially since I didn't even put out the rest of the decorations.
We don't do anything special for New Year's Eve, and we're usually in bed by our customary 8:30. Hubby almost always has to work on New Year's Day, even though it's his birthday, for crying out loud, so we don't do the party scene. So far every year has rolled in nicely without us, including the year everyone was scared to death that the world's computers were going to crash, and life as we knew it would come to an end.
I should have lots of "me" time, and I intend to use it enjoying the present that I'm going to go out and buy for myself. Shhhhhhh..........
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas....
We are in Mississippi at our favorite casino. It's where all good heathens go on Christmas. We figured we already had enough toys. This way we either go home with loads of $$$$ or we go home broke like the rest of America.
Merry Christmas, y'all!!
Merry Christmas, y'all!!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Christmas Traditions.....
My older siblings had a Christmas tradition that I missed out on because I was the baby. They would always burn candles on Christmas Eve, even when they had to hide it from our mother because she would have A) kicked their fannies and B) thrown the candles in the trash. We had two houses burn down when I was young, though (a couple of years apart, I think), so I can kind of understand her paranoia.
When Bobby was in Vietnam, he and my eldest sister, Nurse Jane, planned a time when they would both be burning candles at the same time on Christmas Eve. This was naturally in the days before email and internet, so I can't imagine how they managed to figure out the time difference. I don't mean they were lacking the intelligence to figure it out. But I mean, Bobby didn't exactly write a letter saying, "Okay, it's 8:00 PM here now. What time is it there." And two weeks later when the letter arrived, Jane would say, "Oh, it's _____ o'clock here now. So the time difference must be _____ hours."
Bobby came home safely from Vietnam, only to die in a motorcycle accident the next year, just months before he was to be discharged from the Marines. After he died, we started the tradition of gathering at the cemetery where he is buried and burning candles and singing "Silent Night." Apparently that was Bobby's favorite Christmas song. It was beautiful, seeing the burning candles from the highway. Some years we gathered there only to watch the wind blow the candles out repeatedly or we stood in a light rain and hoped we could keep the candles lit just long enough to sing.
Some people have thought it was rather morbid of my family to gather at a cemetery on Christmas Eve. But I loved the tradition, although it always made me sad that Bobby couldn't be there with us. I was only eleven when he died, and I always wondered at each stage of my life what he would have thought about me. More about him next month, on his birthday.
As we all married (and married and married) and started families of our own, it became too difficult for us all to gather on Christmas Eve. It is too far for some to drive for such a short time, and there are always children and grandchildren to get to other parents' and grandparents' homes. So we each carry on the tradition in our own homes, lighting a candle for each person present and one for Bobby. This way Bobby gets lots of candles instead of just one.
Before we go to bed, I'll play "Silent Night" on the piano; maybe I'll sing, maybe not. [My Christmas gift to you is that I did NOT make a video of that.] The two years that Sweet Girl has been in the Persian Gulf on Christmas Eve, I couldn't make it through the first verse. This year isn't quite that sad, because I know she's only down in Florida and not way "over there."
But I still wish Bobby and hubby could have known each other.
Merry Christmas, y'all!
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